Peace Corps Blog

Finally an Update!

2010-04-07T16:10:00.002-04:00

Written March 10th, 2010

I haven’t written a serious blog since July 2009! Let me summarize what has happened since last July. I am sure there is much detail left out but Ill do my best while being brief.

I visited home for the first time in July. Visiting home revitalized me. I spent my time with the people I care most about. To be honest with you, over the past two years the appreciation I have for my family has grown. I think more about how nice it is to live close to home, even if home life has its occasional drama. Before I left for St. Lucia I was determined that when I return to the states I would live at home for the holidays then, make my way out to California and settle myself there. However, the longer home is not readily accessible the more I just feel like moving back to Austin; home being only a 3 hour drive away. On many an occasion while living in St. Lucia, how I would have killed to retreat home, just for the weekend.

I came back to Lucia feeling grounded and more myself. I had been in a pretty big rut. I came back with the renewed understanding that it is important to be who you are regardless of the culture you are in. When you move to a new country with a different culture from your own adaption is essential to your wellbeing. This adaption process, for most, happens naturally, and it need not be over analyzed. I have spoken with several volunteers about this adaption process and its relevance to maintaining ones identity. When you are in Peace Corps, there is an overemphasis on adaption. They tell to observe the way people dress, eat, think, act, etc. you can begin to feel like the more you adapt, the more you lose who your know yourself to be. After all, you are actually changing certain pieces of yourself. For example, its not common place in St. Lucia for men and women to be platonic friends, so maybe you decide to be less friendly with men, and this just doesn’t feel right to you. Perhaps you are used to going out in jeans in a t-shirt, but all the young women are dressed very sexy so you feel you need to ‘adapt’ and mimic the styles, and behaviors of the people around you. You get caught between staying true to yourself, and ‘adapting’. It really is a fine line. After being here for two years, I say that most people adapt naturally and there is no need to over emphasize or force the adaption. Be culturally sensitive but stay true to who you are. When I went home last July I realized how important that is. I have found that there are many things I do or ways I act here that are taboo or just different from the way locals live, and I think that is ok.

There have been a few complications with my work here. Actually, who am I kidding, it’s been frustrating and difficult nearly every single day. Creating a successful, sustainable program that produces results is not easy as it is; now try doing it in a place where people have different priorities, work-ethics, and management styles. Nevertheless, I have made WhyTry a success, or course, not with out the help of my community partners.

The first thing that happened is I revised my original proposal to include funding for a week long training of 80 – 100 secondary school counselors, teachers, and community youth workers. In mid march of this year all school counselors will be (and now have been) trained and certified in facilitating the WhyTry Program. The training is necessary to help create sustainability. I have been quite luck actually and have a lot to be thankful for. Not only did JQ Charles Group of Companies agree to extend our funding to $10,686 USD with a promise for further funding, but Why Try has agreed to do the training for a fraction of the usual costs. The week long training is marketed at $15,000 in the states for a group of 100 and they have agreed to do the training for $2,500 + travel and accommodations for the trainer! It truly is a blessing.

We started the pilot of 4 schools in district 2 in January and we are now half way through the pilot. The counselors from my initial 2 schools are practically running the program all on their own now and have really taken ownership of the groups. Currently we have 96 students in the program between the 4 schools.

Also, the Ministry of Education put in a request for a new volunteer to come in to replace me for when I have to leave in October. JQ Charles has stated that they only feel comfortable funding the project further if Peace Corps is involved. This would make certain that there is a volunteer championing the project and ensuring its continuation as her primary work task. Washington granted the request and Elizabeth arrived in February and is currently going through Peace Corps training. If she decides that she likes the project and makes it her primary project, I will be returning home in October. There is a chance of me extending my stay if things don’t work out for her for some reason, or if it seems that the expansion into more districts will require the support of two volunteers. If all goes as planned, we will hopefully be getting 10 more schools their materials next year and the last 10 schools the year after.

I will begin writing the new proposal soon. I created measures to track the success of the program but I will be revising these, as J, the president of Why Try In who came down to conduct the training, has sent me some very valuable tracking measures. That is where the program is now.

We also had a huge media launch for the program at the beginning of the current school term. I gotta say, it was really neat and I felt so honored that the work I am doing here was becoming so big. I gave a speech to the principals, vice principals, counselors, JQ Charles CEO and business managers, Peace Corps staff, and Ministry of Education officers. I was also interviewed by one of the national media networks and got to see myself on national television that evening. All very nerve racking, very cool, and very useful to my professional development. Since then I have been interviewed at the why try training and got to be in the paper and news again. Eek!

Finally, I was also involved in the planning and implementation of our first Peace Corps Expo in St. Lucia. We got the idea from the JOCV Japanese Volunteers who had a JOCV Expo. At their expo they introduced the public to what JOCV does and Japanese culture. We had a day long Expo from 10 – 4 where we set up different activities that reflect the work we do here as volunteers. We also had cultural displays, food, and games. The expo was held the first weekend of March and was a huge success. I would say that nearly 1000 people flowed in and out throughout the day. My main station was creating compliment boxes with kids in the youth development/life-skills corner. We also had chess, disability awareness, trivia, US map with our locations, face painting, an information corner, and a steel pan performance by us volunteers that are learning to play the steel pan. We even did the chicken dance. It was an enjoyable day.

Okay this has gotten too long, and I will add some of my journal entries from between then and now a little later.

Update needed

2010-02-25T17:00:00.001-04:00

Alright everyone. It has been soooo long!!! I will putting a new post soon. I have a lot of updating to do. I am working on something to put up in the near future. Stay tuned!

US Navy

2009-07-09T13:17:00.005-04:00

Last month Haley and I partnered with the US Navy to complete a community outreach project. The Navy was in Castries Harbor to deliver various goods, and they contacted Peace Corps. It was decided that they would spend a day with about 15 boys from the Boys Training Center, a residential center for boys that have committed crimes in the community and are too young to incarcerate and for boys that have been removed from their homes because of abuse or neglect.

Each boy was paired with a Sailor who gave them a tour of their ship, The USS Oak HIll (LSD 51) while speaking with them about discipline and the importance of having goals for your future. The boys then ate lunch on the ship before boys and sailors returned to the Boys Training Center for a football (soccer) match.

Needless to say, the boys had a good time beating the Navy guys in football!

I was very happy with how the day turned out. These boys tend to lack positive male role models, especially ones that will take the time to spend a day just with them. You could tell it was a day they will remember for the rest of their life.

I also found it very fulfilling to work with the Navy, the captain and chaplain of the ship were nearly begging for more community outreach opportunities and plan to contact Peace Corps in any future visits to the island. It was very refreshing to see them excited to be involved and thankful for the opportunity to do a little bit of humanitarian work. It made me proud to say that I have had a cousin serve in the US Navy. Below is a post from an editorial on the US Navy's website.

http://www.navy.mil/search/display.asp?story_id=46307
Oak Hill Sailors Complete Community Outreach in St. Lucia
Story Number: NNS090619-12
Release Date: 6/19/2009 5:07:00 PM

From USS Oak Hill (LSD 51) Southern Partnership Station 2009 Public Affairs

USS OAK HILL, At Sea (NNS) -- USS Oak Hill (LSD 51) recently completed its first port visit in Castries, St. Lucia, since departing for its three-month Southern Partnership Station (SPS) 2009 deployment.

More than 300 Sailors and Marines, as well as several foreign liaison naval officers (LNOs) from countries such as Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Peru and Uruguay, made an impact on the island by participating in community relations (COMREL) and Project Handclasp projects.

As part of Project Handclasp, the crew delivered 37 pallets of sanitary and medical supplies, textbooks and toys to local medical agencies, schools and orphanages.

Oak Hill Chaplain Lt. Robert Bailey said, "It was a chance to give back to the local community and show the true Navy spirit."

"Projects like this display that the Navy is about partnership and friendship," said Bailey. "Whenever we have the opportunity to help others, it gives them a more personal representation of what the Navy is and not what the media tells them."

The crew also had the opportunity to spend time with and mentor approximately 15 boys from the Boys Training Center under the Ministry of Home Affairs and Internal Security in Massade, Gros Islet. The crew welcomed the boys aboard for a ship's tour and lunch, then joined the boys back at the center for a game of soccer.

"The COMREL went extremely well," added Bailey. "Having the opportunity to meet with the children, we were able to show them that they can make a change in their lives."

"Wherever the Navy goes, we are American ambassadors," said Capt. Brad Williamson, the commander of the SPS 2009 mission. "Whether we are participating in Project Handclasp or community relations projects, we are not just representing the Navy but everyone back home as well."

Oak Hill is participating in the combined multinational naval and amphibious operational exercise with maritime forces from Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Peru and Uruguay.

Oak Hill is also supporting the multinational amphibious exercise known as Southern Exchange 2009.

COMING HOME IN JULY!

2009-06-03T16:39:00.002-04:00

I am coming home to visit from July 22nd to August 8th, WOOHOO!!! I am counting down the days already. I can't wait to see everyone. Austin buddies, I have not forgotten you July 30th - August 3rd!!! Get ready for some Barton Springs!!! I would says, lets go to Campbell's Hole, but I here the rivers are pretty dried up this year. I miss you guys!

CONGRATULATIONS TO ME!!!

2009-06-03T16:38:00.000-04:00

I have 'unofficially, received funding for a project I am working on here in excess of $6000 USD!!! AND, this is just the beginning. The company, JQ Charles also says they are interested in providing financial support to roll out the Why Try Program in all secondary schools ISLAND WIDE!! GOIN NATIONAL BABY!!! Now, the first phase is our pilot of the program in all District II schools; that's 4 schools. This will be during the 2009 - 2010 school year. After I complete a project analysis and submit my report to them, they will decided if they are going to, 'officially', provide support to the remaining secondary schools across the nation!!! Pretty cool, huh?
You might be wondering about when my Peace Corps service will end then. Well, if all goes as planned and nothing changes (which who knows how likely that is) I may apply to extend my service for the sustainability of the project.

Senior Games 2009... Cane RACES!!!

2009-06-03T14:36:00.007-04:00

Monday was a Holiday in St. Lucia and some of the other volunteers and I went to the Senior Games. They had everything from 100 meter dashes (more like 100 meter trots) to 1,500 meter speed walk (which lasted 20 minutes) to cane racing. Yes, I said it... CANE RACES!!! I swear the guy that one this race wasn't a real cane user! He was totally faking it! I half expected him to twirl his cane around as he walked upright over the finish line. We had a volunteer, Diane participate in the Senior Races, too. She placed in the top 5. GO DIANE!!

Anyway, we carried on Andy and Eric's tradition from last year and placed quarter bets on who would win, who would loose, and who wouldn't finish the race!! If you guest the looser and your looser couldn't make it over the finish line, your winning pot got doubled. I walked away up 15 quarters! Woohoo!! It was great fun; an event I will definitely be attending next year. I have pictures of the stadium and everything in my slide show. Check it out!

Also, I trust I don’t have to explain why I posted this… silly… cheer leading video. Just watch it… Need I say more? ;-) OKAY, i couldn't get the video to load... will update later

Turtle Watching

2009-05-19T18:02:00.001-04:00

I went turtle watching two times, only a day apart, last month. This is a picture of me with a Leatherback Turtle. This particular turtle's shell measured about 5 feet 2 inches long! They were marvelous to see. I got to see 4 turtles over the course of two nights. The first night we saw only one turtle and that wasn't until about 4am. We walked up and down the longest Beach in St. Lucia for hours before stumbling upon the turtle in the middle of laying her eggs. The second night we saw 3 turtles, all between 9 and 10pm! You just never know when they will come up to lay. From March to the end of April, 100s of mama turtles come to lay their eggs in the sand. They dig a hole about 3 feet deep and lay approximately 100 eggs or so. Of those 100, anywhere from 1/4 - 3/4 will be fertile eggs. Another fun fact is that these turtles swim back and forth across the Atlantic Ocean, but they always lay their eggs on the exact same beach from which they were born! I thought that was kinda cool. Anyway, you can check out more pictures in my slide show, but we slept on the beach and the next morning we made bakes. Bakes are these yummy fried biscuts that taste great with slat fish inside. Anyway, I plan to go back to Grand Anse Beach soon to see the turtles hatching. They hatch in the months of May and June.

Everytings Irie Mun

2009-05-19T15:45:00.003-04:00

I just wanted to tell everyone I miss you and can't wait to see you when I visit in July!!!!

I cant wait to tell you all about the work I have been doing here, the beach, hiking, turtle watching, steel pan, and of course the guy I have been dating for the past 5 months. That is pretty much my life here in St. Lucia; Peace Corps work, beachin' it, hiking, Steel Pan lessons, boyfriend, and the general hangin' out!

Oh and by the way. I went with Lloyd the other day to visit his brother. He has this huge cashew nut tree by his house and they decided to roast some cashews. I had heard previous horror stories from volunteers already about eating cashews in st. lucia. The general consensus is "Don't eat the freshly roasted cashews, you will get a rash from the oils." Now not only is the cashew nut my favorite nut (next to the pistachio of course) but the boys also had their doubts about this 'mystery rash.' They were absolutely certain that you only get this rash if you eat the cashew if they are not roasted completely, because then all the oils dont come off the nut.

What do I have today... A cashew nut rash on my wrist. BOO!
However, I must say, the cashews were really yummy. It was definitely worth the mild irritation!

LOVE!

No Strike Will Put Me Out of Work!

2009-05-19T15:42:00.001-04:00

From April 27th, 2009

This is a journal entry that I meant to include in my blog about a month ago.

Today the teachers Union has another meeting with the Ministry. We will know shortly if the strike will continue. If it continues all public school children will be out of school for an indefinite period of time (until the Ministry agrees to increase the teachers salary by 7.5%).

Luckily for me and our kids, my IPP at Compre is a Seventh Day Adventist Church member. SDA members are usually discouraged from participating in strikes or any other potentially volatile political action. This includes any political action that involves slander or smear tactics; that is not to say that this dispute involves any such misconduct. In fact, the only details I really know are: a. The Ministry promised to increase the teachers’ salary by 7.5% during the strike that occurred last year; and b. Teachers did not receive their increase, as promised. Nonetheless, my community partner, although she is permitted to be part of this particular union, will still be attending school. Thankfully, this allows us to still work on the many things we set out to complete this term.

At the beginning of the term, the counselor at Compre and I created a schedule for the final term through to September when school starts again. We plan to design and facilitate a Peer Mentoring Workshop in order to train and prepare the 20 new Castries Comprehensive Peer Mentors. Peer Mentors assist new students in their adjustment to the school, especially Form 1 students, educate their peers on healthy life style choices, and are expected to be role models that provide mentoring and counsel to fellow peers.
We are also organizing a workshop for the new Prefects. Prefects are well behaved students that are selected for the purpose of managing a classroom when a teacher is absent. The Ministry of Education does not have substitute teachers on staff in the same way we do in the States. Instead, a student Prefect takes charge of the class. Their workshop will focus on school rules, class room management and conflict resolution. Then, of course, we are continuing the “Why Try?” Program. Why Try is a program that works with at-risk students to help them attain unlearned social skills necessary for positive growth and achievement. It was developed by Social Workers in the States, WooHoo!

Currently, Castries Comprehensive and Sir Ira Simmons have a total of 27 ‘at-risk’ students that are regularly attending “Why Try?” groups every week. Securing funding for additional groups for the 2009 – 2010 school year has also been in the works. I completed a rough draft of a proposal in February, and the District II counselor is still preparing the final product, which will then be sent to two different funding sources. The hope is to run a ‘formal pilot’ of the program in each of the four District II schools. Positive results will then be used to secure funding for the implementation of “Why Try?” island-wide. Even though the program has been running in Vaux Fort, the success of the program has not been empirically measured. I measured the students’ base-line level at Compre and Sir Ira but the program has not been run in a methodical way, neither under optimal conditions; obtaining all the necessary materials has been a challenge.

We will be measuring the success by collecting and analyzing the following data:
- group member, parent, and teacher surveys will help us to establish a base
line and monitor changes of particular behaviors, characteristics and basic
social functioning.
- Changes in attendance, suspension, detention, and drop-out rates
- Grades and CXC pass rates
- Observed progress in group

Additionally, some people have been asking me “What makes at kid at-risk?” In general, many different factors can put a child ‘at-risk’ in life. However, the term always needs to be considered within the context of which you are working. For example, children born in poverty are considered at-risk because they are less likely to receive a quality education, they may get involved with drugs or crime due to the different stressors of poverty, and they are more likely to be malnourished and/or go untreated for different health problems. That is just listing a few. For the purposes of “Why Try?” at-risk school children are those children that are at-risk for not completing school successfully. Since we are wanting to make the pilot as empirical as possible we will need to be specific in defining how we intend to identify at-risk children. For our use, a child is considered to be at-risk if they meet 1 or more of the following criteria:
- Poor grades in over half of the students subjects
- Having ever been suspended from school
- Poor school attendance or truancy
- Low self-esteem, as determined by teacher and counselor
- Having more than 1 school detention
- More than 1 referral to the principal’s office
- Inability to concentrate or follow instruction in the classroom, as
determined by teacher
- Scores low on social-skills survey
- Cannot identify at-least 3 adults that are supportive of them

Update

2009-05-12T13:24:00.002-04:00

Hey All!

I just wanted to pop in with a breif update. Things are going well in St. Lucia. I am in the middle of conducting an 8 week HIV/AIDS workshop for a mens youth group. It is going really well, and we have had a good turn out. In the last two weeks of the workshop I will be helping them to develop a community action plan for a project about health wellness and HIV/AIDS prevention.

I have also been facilitating moe Why Try groups - going well

Lastly, Jazz was all last week. I went to a couple of events, but my hope is to participate in the festivities more next year!

Anyway, back to school stuff.... more later
- oh yes and the strike is on hold until the end of the month

Teacher’s Union Strike

2009-04-23T16:28:00.000-04:00

April 23rd, 2009

Term 3 of the 2008 – 2009 academic school year was due to start this past Monday. However, Monday morning I noticed an inordinate amount of un-uniformed kids running around in the ‘yard’. Usually by about 7:30 AM kids speckle the roadside in their various school uniforms. For a moment I was confused by the scene; it was the first day back from a two week break, and I was wondering why any matters were not dealt with during the scheduled break. My confusion faded as I began to find out what was going on. Parents in the community were mentioning something about the teachers union going on strike! I was told that school would resume Wednesday. I had no real way of confirming this information though, as I have no internet or TV and my phone was lost on the beach 2 weeks ago. When I arrived at school Wednesday I heard the details. Apparently the Teachers Union was given notice last Tuesday that they would not be receiving the 7.5% salary increase that was promised to them by the Ministry. They held a meeting on Monday and vowed to strike on Thursday for 3 working days if their adjusted salaries were not in the bank by Thursday morning. They did have school on Tuesday, though the attendance was low, as will be for the rest of the week. No student wants to pay bus fare for no reason.

Today the increase did not show up in the banks and no teachers went to school. I still went to the school, where I found out even more information. People were talking about the Prime Ministers announcement that the government does not have the funds for the raise. The Union plans to meet again with the ministry on Monday and continue the strike if no agreement is made. I heard that teachers went on strike for over a month once and they are prepared to strike again!

This is the second occurrence of teachers striking since I have been in St. Lucia. I have also witnessed a strike by the gasoline dealers. Everything slows down when this happens. I just feel bad for the students. Many students are in the middle of major examinations at this time and the strike risks appropriate preparation for them.

I am Nature

2009-04-23T16:27:00.000-04:00

Friday April 14th, 2009

What is Paradise? For me and many others it seems that paradise is being in the authenticity of nature, experiencing nature in its most beautiful form; untouched, unmodified, land unturned by humans. This is why many people escape to the tropics; to experience the pureness of nature. Even the brutality between different species in paradise seems simply perfect. But didn’t man evolve from the earth? Evolve. The work implies that there are levels higher than the last. How are humans of a higher level when all that we create is seen as a destruction of nature? Of that which seems most pure? Of that which we want to escape to in order to experience a little bit of paradise.
Are we not of this earth as well? How is it that we continue to destroy what is most precious to us? We even do it without second thought most of the time. We do it almost compulsively. It’s in our nature to drive ourselves further and further from paradise. Ironic, isn’t it?

Another Day in Paradise

2009-04-23T16:26:00.002-04:00

Monday March 30th

Yesterday Haley, Embert, Lloyd, Sam and I hiked through the bush from MOnchy to Labonn. We stopped at Lloyd’s grandfathers house. Lloyd lived there for about 9 years when he was growing up. His grandfather is about 72 and in excellent shape. He was a fisherman that retired only a couple of years ago. While we were stopped his cousin serves us some chilled rain water as a refreshment. From Labonn we hiked down to a beach called Dophin beach. The beach is on the east side of the island. From the beach not one person or house could be seen in all directions. We limed on the beach for some time and I learned how to skip rocks on the ocean waves. Embert and Lloyd went exploring and returned with a gigantic tortes shell! The shell was at least 2 feet in length! We took pictures with the shell and decided that the sound of a turtle is Mahhh… none of us had ever heard a turtle before…

After the crew convinced me that “NO” I would not succeed in getting the shell through customs we proceeded to hike on a small trial to the Sashe River. We stopped againby a small, but lovely, 7 ft. waterfall on the river. The waterfall poured into a 12 ft. deep swimming hole. The river was just as secluded and private as the beach. On our way to the bathing spot we had to follow the river up stream a bit. Lloyd had stories of how kids from the local village used to wash clothes and take bathes at the river. You could still see soap stains on the rocks, Lloyd said it was looking like somebody still comes to wash there.

At the swim hole we sand some songs, gave thanks for our blessings, and dove into the pool off the rocks. Just when dusk was arriving and the mosquitoes started biting, Embert made a small smoke fire out of coconut husk; he says it helps keep the mosquitoes away. Just before night fell upon us we hiked up to the road from the river; not an easy ascent. I can’t imagine climbing up just so with baskets of wet clothes! We passed a pig farm on the way home. It’s spring and all the piglets were funning about. We made our way into Monchy just as the sun disappeared over the horizon. It couldn’t have been a better day. The only thing… I fort my camera! Good thing Haley had hers!

Pleading with the Lord

2009-04-23T16:25:00.000-04:00

March 26th, 2009

Pleading with the Lord

I’m Beaten and Bruised
Feel used up and abused
My minds so confused
Not giving up though, I refuse

Not hearin your words
Is this what I deserve
I’m weak and alone
Dear Jesus take me home

Waitin for a sign all the time
Something to tell me
Waitin for a sign all the time
God’s guidance to lead me

But it’s not always there
And I begin to fell life is unfair
Waitin for a sign all the time
Waitin for a sign all the time

I’m immobile, I’m still waitin
No action to take, must be something I’m missin
Dear Jesus lead me, I need your guidance
Hope’s my only lifeline, I’m still waitin

I will wait all my life
But understand this wait brings me pain
I need one of your signs
Just need some clarifying

Is this independence you give me
A sign of your trust and love
With your approval I’ll move forward
Trust my heart and trust me

Your Life

2009-04-23T16:24:00.002-04:00

March 26th, 2009

Your Life

Life ain’t an easy break
There are those that have opportunity to take
Then there are those that hit the wall
Everyday they take a fall

But God gives us what we need
and never more, so take heed
Discover what it is that sets you free
Gives your mind and heart a life of ease

The tricks that life’s never as it seems
One minute your on da right track
But wake up the next day to see
You’re on a different train than dat

People hurt people along the way in life
They just searchin for happiness in life
You’ve gotta observe your affect on others in life
And don’t let da people abuse or use you in life

Your life is you life
Be humble with your life
Follow your dreams
And set your sail free in life

Life ain’t an easy break
Older I get, harder it is to hear my spirit
What I think and feel is sometimes wrong
And I’m left with no certainty in nothin at all

Dear Lord

2009-04-23T16:24:00.001-04:00

Wednesday March 18th, 2009

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the blessings in my life lord
My dreams, goals and aspirations are for you lord
And even when I think that I’m not enough lord
You seem to life me up and show me I’m enough lord

Find Jah
Know thyself
And when you’re strong
Go find love

Dream big
Let your spirit lead
Don’t give up
You’ll have all you need

My house, my job, my man are blessings from you lord
Done somethin right to deserve this from you lord
Must thank my mama for her guidance and words lord

Find Jah
Know thyself
And when you’re strong
You’ll find love

Dream big
Let your spirit lead
Don’t give up
You’ll have all you need

She Said
Don’t you cheat, don’t you lie, don’t be negative
Find good friend, set good goals, live with integrity
Most of all dear, fill your life with positivity

Find Jah
Know thyself
And when you’re strong
You’ll find love

Dream big
Let your spirit lead
Don’t give up
You’ll have all you need

My friends, my car, my life are sent to me by you lord
Done something right to deserve this from you lord
Thank you for my mama, I’m so blessed lord

Find Jah
Know thyself
And when you’re strong
Go find love

Dream big
Let your spirit lead
Don’t give up
You’ll have all you need

Mama Said
Don’t you cheat, don’t you lie, don’t be negative
Find good friends, set good goals, live with integrity
Most of all dear, fill your life with positivity

God Bless

Caribbean Home

2009-04-23T16:22:00.000-04:00

Tuesday March 17th, 2009

The closer it gets to moving time, the more excited I get about moving. I am happy to move to a place that is more private and closer to my work.

I am starting to consider that St. Lucia might very well become another home to me. It really is possible to have all I dreamed of. To have a home in the states and a home under the Caribbean sun would be wonderful. There are many opportunities for work here for a Social Worker. I could teach at the college, assist at the mental health hospital, promote healthy relationships, etc. I only wonder what job I could have that would enable my travel back and forth between St. Lucia and the states.

I could buy property and rent it in the states and live in the Caribbean or visa versa.
I could build a vacation home near the coast in St. Lucia

This is all just speculation.

Peace Corps Expo

2009-04-23T16:21:00.000-04:00

March 15th, 2009

Haley, another Peace Corps Volunteer has taken the lead in putting together a committee to design a Peace Corps Expo. We had our first committee meeting yesterday to brainstorm ideas for the expo. The idea is to hold the expo in Castries in a high traffic area. We want to introduce people to what Peace Corps is, what our goals are, what the volunteers do, past and present sustainable projects, and have a cross cultural experience.

Racism

2009-04-23T16:20:00.002-04:00

Tuesday March 12th, 2009

My Why Try? Groups are running more smoothly this week. Sometimes all these kids need is someone that will relate to their potential, relentlessly. To many times teachers, parents, and other adults only see the troublesome side of adolescents. They need an adult that wont give-up on them, just the same way we try to tell them to never give-up on life.

I must tell you, I think a large portion of their respect is greatly related to how I dealt with a situation that occurred 2 weeks ago. In the middle of session 2 of the girls commented back and forth about how they have white people. This was my first experience in St. Lucia of blatant racism. When the comments came I was stunned. I was so upset that I couldn’t even process the comments and just brushed over them as if they didn’t even occur. Later that day we called the two students to the office to address the comments. Strangely enough, both students were surprised to hear I was upset by the comments. At first, I attempted to put them in my shoes by asking them how it would make them feel if I said “I hate black people.” Both students were confident that it wouldn’t matter to them. Dormillia, my community counterpart had to help me understand that most St. Lucians have never experienced racism and because St. Lucia is a black nation, such remarks against black people have little power and are not seen as a threat.

I spoke with the students about the climate of racism in America and how it is very offensive to make such comments. I talked to them about the dangers of lumping people together according to race and how that is the attitude that lead to enslavement of black people. The girls responded that they were not talking about me, but about “White white people.” I asked each of the girls if they have ever had a white friend or known a white person before. Both stated that they have never even had one conversation with a white person before me. They hear stories about white people and from that know that all white people only want to come to St. Lucia to take their money and kick the people on the street. Neither of the girls had ever directly experienced either. I told them that I do not support acts of hate against St. Lucians or any black people and encouraged them to try to make a judgments of people based more on their personal experience rather than the stories they hear from other people. I let them know that they are welcome to speak to me and ask me questions anytime they want.

Last week Dormillia and I spoke with the entire group about the comments that were made the previous week and let them know there is no tolerance for hateful comments in Why Try? Clearly, my response to the situation gained their respect.

Poverty in St. Lucia

2009-04-23T16:20:00.001-04:00

Wednesday March 11th, 2008

The impoverished areas of St. Lucia are largely unseen by both tourist and a large majority of middle – upper class Lucians. Those that live in better homes have better access to good roads, buses, and shops. Sometimes the poverty stricken ghettos are only one or two blocks away down a beaten path that a car can hardly pass through. Unless you live in, grew up in, or know someone who lives in these areas, you can spend your whole life with no reason to ever explore those rugged paths. Well off individuals that have access and can afford water and/or electricity often times don’t even realize there are people living just a stone throw away that don’t have running water and use out houses. Recently, I spoke with a local St. Lucian that was astonished when I told her that some St. Lucian’s still use pit toilets and can’t afford electricity; she could hardly believe me. Furthermore, a volunteer recently reported to me that one of her community partners made the comment, “everyone has at lease one computer in their homes these days.” The reality is, only about 10% of the islands households have computers. This is how hidden the poverty in St. Lucia can be.

Life Keeps Movin' Mon

2009-03-10T13:51:00.002-04:00

Bonjou from St. Lucia everyone!

Things are going well here under the sunny skies of St. Lucia. I will give you an update as to the latest happenings.

First – I am moving from Babonneau to Marisul! After 4 months of living in a house that is part of a tire shop, has men around a lot, is continuous mosquito infestations from the mosquitoes breeding in the tires, always has water problems, and is never quiet I am finally relocating to a more comfortable location! Sad thing is…. Now I am a little attached to Babonneau! The little kids holler out “Ms. Ashley, Ms. Ashley” as I walk by sometimes; there are several projects in the Babonneau community that are of interest to me; and it just feels like home now. Of course I will miss my lovely sunset spot too! Since I am up in the hills, I get to see the sun rise and fall. There is a log at the edge of the field by my house and it has become my sunset spot on many occasions now.
On a positive note, my new place is not only walking distance from work, BUT the beach is only a 5 minute walk away as well!! Isn’t that super fantastic!
I will give you the pros and cons of my of leaving my current place
Pros:
Get out of tire shop
- smell
- men
- noise
- mosquitoes
more privacy at new place
will be near work
- save money on bus fare
- get more exercise
will be near beach
- get more exercise
will be on a main bus line
- easier to get home at night
- save money on bus fare
Can have a dog at new place

Cons:
Lose fruits on property
Lose microwave
Lose hot water
Lose TV
Not as convenient to work in Babonneau

From all of that, I chose to move.

Second Ting – I am still doing steel pan on Saturdays and hiking on Sundays. Last week I hiked a mountain called Piton Flore and this past Sunday we went snorkeling. I finally got to use the snorkel gear mommy and daddy sent, and it was GREAT! Now, you all know how curious I am about EVERYTHING, yeah? Well, during our first 7 weeks of Peace Corps training we had a whole session on “Things That Sting”. Of course, sea urchins were on that list. Sea Urchins are those cute prickly black things that grow between the coral rocks in the ocean. They look kinda like those prickly toy scrunch balls… yet pokeyer (don’t you just love making up new words?). Well, I made the crazy decision to pet, yes I say PET, a sea urchin while snorkeling this past Sunday. The first one I tried to pet was a little guy and I got a feel on him but nothing I was satisfied with. I found me a larger fella and swam down for a soft brush over his spines. “OUCH! HE BITES” The larger guy wasn’t so happy to have me messin’ with his arms and legs. So, a sea urchin sting hurts a bit, but it’s not gonna kill ya. One of my friends responses to the sting was, “I like that about you, you truly live” She said, “It’s like that saying, denying yourself any part of life through fear is not living.” For true, for ture!

Third Ting – My projects… My “Why Try?” Program is making much progress. I hope to have the funding proposal submitted by the end of the week. Junior Achievement with the younger kids is fantastic. They get so excited to see me; stickers really do go a long way! My HIV/AIDS project is progressing in Babonneau. For the ropes course thing, I hope to be work more on that in the near future.
I am really starting to settle into my work. Although there are days that are frustrating and I ask myself, “and why am I doing this for free,” most days are rewarding. I know that I am having an impact on the men, women, and children around me. Through working here in St. Lucia, I have realized though that the impact of the work I do back home as a social worker is no less valuable than the work I do here. All places have their struggles. People everywhere need support from others and assistance making it to the next level. It looks the same here and there, and people respond the same to the help here as they do there. We are one!

Fourth and Final Ting – This entry wouldn’t be complete without another random story right? The other night 4 of us were driving down the road when we spotted an opossum crossing the road. The driver slams on his break and my other friend is jumping out of the car before it’s even come to a complete stop. In one snatch, he grabs up the opossum by the end of its tail. I’m right on his heals because I had never seen an opossum up close before. Then as cars drive by my two Lucian friends start shouting things in Patois. It took me a moment to realize that they were trying to see the opossum! My friend, who is also an American girl, and I watched while laughing hysterically at the situation. I wish I had my camera on me. My friend took a couple of photos with her pocket camera. No one wanted to buy the opossum for $80 EC so the boys decide they are going to try and sell the little guy to the shop down the road. My friend gets in the car, arm hanging out the window, holding fast to the opossum. I couldn’t get over myself! It was the funniest sight, indeed! Nonetheless… the shop owner wasn’t in and some other guy ended up taking him with a promise to pay for him later.

Sailors Are Funny

2009-02-26T16:48:00.002-04:00

2.24.09

This past weekend I met an interesting character. Meeting interesting people that have bizarre stories and adventures to share is all part of the fun of exploring a new nation. His name was Francisco, a tall gangly character with a scruffy chin and neck. His fingernails were dingy, his teeth revealed signs of chain smoking, and his hair seemed to be plastered with gel that hadn’t been washed our for several days… But, now that I think of it, his half spiked hair style must have been placed so by the natural oils that must have been accumulating on his scalp for weeks without washing. Even though his shorts were tattered and his vest faded he was chipper and jolly; clearly the rum flows freely on his ship. Anyway, he passed me as I was sitting eating a sandwich and asked if I would like to take a walk with him. I could tell immediately that this was an intriguing man, but honestly, I just accepted his offer because I wanted to bum a cigarette.

Turns out that Francisco is a sailor; I should have known, and somewhere between coffee and rum Francisco told me all about his live as a sailor. Briefly, he mentioned what he refers to as his ‘past life’. Before sailing the seas endlessly he was a professor of philosophy at a university in France. Six months ago he retired from his job, gave up all his possessions, family and friends and decided to start sailing. He bought a boat and has been sailing around the world for 6 months with no real plan on where to go next or for how long to stay. He only dreams of finding a sailor girl to join him on his adventure, find a cozy place on the sea shore to settle, build a house, fish and live out the rest of their days. Sounds romantic, huh?

Before St. Lucia, Francisco spent 2 months in different parts of Africa. He sounded like a character straight out of a story book; speaking about how mystical Africa was and how lovely and kind people are all over the world. His tales were incredibly marvelous. It’s incredible how some people are able to just take a risk and go anywhere their heart desires. After our chatter came to an end the sailor sipped down his last drop of rum and went back to the marina; I think he had a chess match to attend on one of the other ships.

Cultural Blooper

2009-02-26T16:46:00.000-04:00

2.19.09

Last week EC78 (the 78th PCV group to serve in the eastern Caribbean) had its first in-service training. This training is held two times over the course of our stay in St. Lucia. Anyhow, on our first day of IST our PC trainer had us share some of the cultural bloopers we as volunteers experienced during our first 6 months in St. Lucia. Some people shared experiences about getting on buses just after having a Lucian shower (getting caught in a torrential down pour without an umbrella) and having the driver curse under his breathe the whole way home; experiences of forgetting to open a meeting with a prayer; and stories of how accepting a crate of fruit from a male community member can make him think you are going to go to bed with him. There wasn’t much for me to contribute to the bloopers wall… until today, that is. In fact, my cultural blooper came with great consequence, and has lead to a doctor who has been seeing volunteers for 27 years no longer being willing to treat Peace Corps Volunteers!

Several months ago I went to see the doctor for the treatment of an ongoing headache I was having. It was my first doctor visit in St. Lucia, and a bizarre one, at that. First, the doctor asked me the details of my ailment; nothing out of the ordinary yet. Next, she proceeded to check my throat, eyes and nose; still nothing unusual. Things go a little strange when the doctor asked me to remove my shirt. With hesitation I did so, but I was very uncomfortable, and I was confused as to why she was asking me to do so. She pressed on my abdomen a little, then asked me to remove my bra, too. The request was met with no explanation as to why I should do so, I was given no cover, and it was obvious that she did not intend on leaving the room while I undressed. Naturally, I was shocked by the nature of her request, thus asked her to repeat herself, “You want me to remove my bra, too?,” I said with surprise in my voice. She confirmed, “Yes.” I feeling very uncomfortable with the request, as I had no understanding of why she was asking me to disrobe, so I asked her, “Why do you want me to remove my bra?” Clearly offended, she responded, “Well, I was just going to check your breast for you, but I don’t have to!” I told her “No, I don’t see that its necessary; I just have a headache!” I left the office that day feeling that the incident was mighty peculiar and I ran the scenario by one of my supervisors, whom is Lucian. She confirmed that the procedure was normal.

Nevertheless, my response to her turned out to be extremely offensive and led to her decision to no longer care for Peace Corps Volunteers, after 27 years of service! Apparently, it is uncommon for patients to question doctors in this culture, and in fact, it is viewed as a questioning of their expertise. It is normal for doctors to give you a complete physical for anything, no matter the ailment; this is actually better service than we get back home. Additionally it is not customary for female doctors to give a cover or leave the room for female clients.

This has been my largest cultural blooper, and I feel awful about it. I have decided to write the doctor an apology in regards to my misunderstanding. Also, I believe the next group of volunteers will be receiving a written notice titled, “What to Expect on Your First Doctors Visit!” Well… OOPS!

Recipe for Vegetable Peanut Pasta and Mediterranean Salad

2009-02-26T16:42:00.001-04:00

Friday Feb 14th, 2009

Vegetarian Peanut Noodles Recipe
INGREDIENTS:
For the peanut sauce:
• 1/3 cup creamy peanut butter
• 2 cloves garlic, minced or pressed
• 1/4 cup vegetable broth
• 1 Tbsp. sesame oil
• 2 Tbsp. teriyaki sauce
• One “thumb” of ginger
• Zest and juice of ½ lime
• 2 Tbsp. chopped peanuts
• Pinch red pepper flakes
• Black pepper to taste
For the pasta:
• 250 grams (1/4 package) linguine or udon noodles
For the stir-fry:
• 1-2 Tbsp. vegetable oil
• 1 tsp. sesame oil
• 3 carrots, sliced thinly into matchsticks
• 1 cup broccoli florets
• 1.5 cups bean sprouts
• 1/2 red bell pepper, sliced thinly
To serve:
• Green onions
• Chopped peanuts
• Sesame seeds
DIRECTIONS:
For the peanut sauce:
1. Heat a small saucepan over low-medium heat.
2. Add the broth, peanut butter, garlic, sesame oil, teriyaki sauce, grated
ginger, lime zest, lime juice, and peppers to the pot, stirring gently.
3. Heat through.
For the pasta:
1. Bring a large pot of water to the boil and cook pasta until al dente. The
noodles should be cooked but still slightly firm in the middle, not slippery
or mushy. Firmer noodles are desired to hold onto the sauce better.
2. If using udon noodles, cook according to minimum cook time on package.
For the Stir-fry:
1. Heat a small skillet over medium-high heat and add one tablespoon oil.
2. Add the vegetables and stir-fry for several minutes, until all vegetables
are tender-crisp.
To serve:
• In a serving dish, toss the cooked and drained pasta with the peanut sauce
and vegetables. Garnish with green onions (scallions), chopped peanuts, and
sesame seeds.

Mediterranean Chickpea Salad
INGREDIENTS
• 1 (15 ounce) can garbanzo beans (chickpeas), drained and rinsed
• 1 roma (plum) tomato, seeded and diced
• 1/2 medium green bell pepper, diced
• 1 small onion, finely chopped
• 1 small clove garlic, minced
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 lemon, juiced
DIRECTIONS
1. In a bowl, toss together the garbanzo beans, roma tomato, green bell pepper,
onion, garlic, parsley, olive oil, and lemon juice. Cover, and chill until
serving.

Grant Writing

2009-02-26T16:41:00.000-04:00

Wednesday February 11th, 2009

Today I participated in a grant writing workshop as part of my Peace Corps training. The workshop was invaluable! One great thing about the way Peace Corps structures its in-service trainings is they allow the volunteers to provide feedback on what additional training would be most useful. Then, Peace Corps designs our bi-annual trainings on the topics identified most by the volunteers.

Currently, I am working on two funding proposals, one to be ‘officially’ submitted by the Ministry of Education and the other to be submitted by Hope Academy, a new non-profit organization working to increase opportunity for success for children living in poverty. Both proposals will be submitted to major funding sources, and while I have had some exposure to grant writing, I have never written an entire official funding proposal. Nevertheless, I was suffering from writers block, despite my enthusiasm for the opportunity to play such a large role in these two projects. However, thanks to the workshop from today I feel I have all the tools needed to write a well-received proposal!

The proposal I am writing on behalf of the Ministry is for funding of “Why Try?” in more of the secondary schools, to be rolled out in 3 phases over 2 – 3 years. The second proposal is for the development of a ropes course in Babonneau. The ropes course will support the mission and vision of Hope Academy and help to build confidence, self-esteem, and team work among the students of Hope Academy

Exciting stuff!! Exciting stuff!!

Flea Market and Steel Pan

2009-02-26T16:40:00.001-04:00

2.7.09

I’m sitting at the Rodney Bay mall waiting for Haley to walk down from her place. There is a flea Market sale down the road and we need new clothes. The sun, salt water, and walking has all but worn out everything we have. The last sale I got a pair of capris, 2 dresses, and a shirt for 10EC. That is $4 US!! After the sale, Haley and I will spend the day at the beach before proceeding to steel pan practice at 3:00. Our steel pan instructor thinks that we will be good enough to perform with Pan-Orama in July!

Tattoo Me Baby

2009-02-26T16:34:00.001-04:00

Saturday Feb 7th, 2009

New tattoo ideas
Across my upper back, irie pa bon
Direct translation – alright not good
What it stand for – blessed imperfection

On my left shoulder, a social work symbol, a St. Lucian flag, a peace corps symbol

On the top of my right foot, a mandala

One Pot

2009-02-26T16:29:00.000-04:00

Entry from 2.6.09

The other day Haley, Lloyd, Sergio, and I went to Pigeon Point. We found a geocache; very cool. All day was a blast. We ran around, took pictures and played volleyball all day.

I have been cooking a lot lately. I have been learning how to make some good one pots, bouillon and dumplings. I made some lemon butter garlic sauce today for tuna (in a can of course).

One Pot – a bullion consisting of all or any combination of the following:
Lentils, dumplings, rice, noodles, plantain, green fig, onion, garlic, pumpkin, any vegetables, etc, etc.
Most often, a one pot is sure to contain lentils and dumplings.

You get the point?

Throw a bunch of food in a pot and let it boil!

Benefit of Why Try

2009-02-26T16:28:00.000-04:00

Entry from 2.4.09

I’m at American Drywall, the building Elaine’s office is in. She works for the Chamber of Commerce. We are about to walk down to a Chinese restaurant, if you can really call it Chinese, down the way for lunch. I just facilitated my 3rd “Why Try?” group at Sir Ira Simmons Secondary School. The participants are in form 2 & 3, which is the same as grades 8 & 9 in the U.S. I am working with them on using positive motivation to overcome challenges in their life. Running groups in St. Lucia is significantly different than the groups I have run back home. Like I have said before, counseling is a new concept in St. Lucia. I think that the study of psychology has transferred the value of self-reflection and introspection into main-stream society in the states. In St. Lucia, it seems to be something that only a minority practice. Introspection requires a certain degree of critical thinking, and these skills develop at an even later stage of life in St. Lucia. Critical thinking is not nurtured in the same way here. I find that the young girls, especially, are not accustomed to reflecting on their feelings, thoughts, and actions. When I ask them questions about their thoughts and feelings, they have a difficult time verbalizing them what they might have been feeling or thinking in a situation. It follows then, that they have difficulty understanding how their thoughts, feelings and actions influence one another. Nevertheless, I know, at the least, that these girls will benefit from the “Why Try?” Program because it will develop their ability to reflect on their own thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Furthermore, they will develop a habit of processing and understanding the affect they have on situations that occur in their own lives

Why Try Progress

2009-02-26T16:17:00.000-04:00

Entry from 1.28.09

Why Try is going well. I have faith that the group will continue to grow and develop. Hopefully, we will see positive change in the kids, even though the conditions are less than ideal. The lights in the small, cramped room are out. This means that we must leave the door open. Of course, this leaves the group open to distractions, mainly by other students popping their heads into the room. I am also understanding the problem of over extension. I didn’t think I was over extended, but now I have found myself divided into so many places that I am having trouble keeping up with it all.

The Latest

2009-01-25T17:50:00.004-04:00

Wow,

So i just got done transcribing what felt like 100 journal entries to my blog and now my fingers are to tired to write a current one! Sorry about not blogging at all this month. I am starting to feel like a Peace Corps Volunteer, if you know what I mean. My time is becoming filled with more and more Peace Corpsy things and paying $4 on the round trip for Internet at the coffee shop is seeming more and more expensive and like it takes up too much of my time.

Anyway, my "Why Try?" groups this week went really well. The students enjoyed the group; which says a lot for students who hate being involved in anything! I could also tell the counselor that I am working with at Sir Ira learned a lot.

Saturday, Haley and I started Steel Pan lessons in Gros Islet. It seems like my previous music training served me well, cause I am picking it up nicely. Our teacher says that Haley and I will be good enough to play in the July competition when it comes. Cool! It feels nice to create music again.

Tomorrow I am probably beginning my first Karate class. There isn't any kung fu, but I should adapt well.

So, that's the latest!

Inauguration Day

2009-01-25T17:48:00.001-04:00

(written 1.20.09)

Today is inauguration day in Washington. It is a little surreal and euphoric. Millions of people, all ages and all races are huddling into Washington to see his swearing in speech. They have been crowding in since early morning. There are still 4 hours until he gets sworn in, and I can’t peel my eyes from the TV already! I feel so proud that America is turning a leaf. Hope is being restored. My greatest fears are NOT being realized. Perhaps Americans are not as apathetic and ignorant as I thought. This is huge. I can’t even describe the enormity of the day. I will leave the eloquent descriptions to historians and literacy writers. Just months ago I was bitter, angry, and cynical about America, Americans, Americas future, and the president. But Today I am PROUD!!

(later this day)

I spent the day at the Lime with Haley, Lois, Scott, Elaine, and Lloyd. It was incredible. Elaine popped a bottle of bubbly and we shouted “CHEERS” and “HOORAY” at high noon!

Inauguration of Barrack Obama

2009-01-25T17:47:00.001-04:00

(written Monday 1.19.09)

Today is the day before the inauguration of Barrack Obama, our nations 44th President!!
It is so very exciting. I have such hope and faith that he is going to put America on a good path. There has been nearly 24 hour coverage of the impending event all weekend and all day today. Interestingly enough, today so happens to be MLK day, and tomorrow the first black president will be sworn into office. It’s incredible, really! I don’t really know what else to say beyond that but, I will be at the Lime in Rodney Bay all day and night tomorrow watching the event on their large flat screen!

FINALLY!

2009-01-25T17:46:00.001-04:00

(written 1.19.09)

In two days I run my first two “Why Try?” groups at SISSS. WISH ME LUCK!!
Getting approval for funding from the bursar at Sir Ira hasn’t really been a problem at all. However, things are delaying at CCSS and funding has been a huge problem… and it is the more highly ranked school. Huh!

Ropes Course

2009-01-25T17:45:00.000-04:00

(Written1.16.09)

I went with Cliff today to view the land that he and his wife want to put a ropes course on. Actually, their vision is even larger than just a ropes course. His wife developed a non-profit organization called HOPE that is currently pitching its proposal to the ministry of education. They will be delivering educational opportunities to children that live in poverty. Kids that enter their program at the primary school level will receive free tutoring by trained teachers, shoes to go to school in, and lunches on the school lunch programs. They will also attend camps over the school breaks, where they will get to receive additional tutoring and test preparation in various subjects from math and English to foreign language and mechanics. In addition the kids will get to attend a summer wilderness camp at the ropes course where they will work on building life skills, self-esteem, confidence, and team-work. The first phase of the program will be launched in September when school starts (including the shoes, lunch and tutoring).

I have been in touch with some companies that help design ropes courses in the states and they all seem willing to help out in any way they can. I am getting a good feel for what it takes to develop and maintain a course. Very interesting, very interesting in deed. Nevertheless, it looks like my summer work is cut out for me. Hand me a cutlass and lets go clear the land!

Project Funding

2009-01-25T17:43:00.001-04:00

(written 1.15.09)

Today and executive of JQ companies offered to fund the “Why Try?” program that I am running at CCSS and SISSS. Now all I need to do is write a project proposal! Piece of cake, ya? Very Very Exciting! We are hoping to expand to the other secondary schools as well! He says that the project is just the thing JQ Companies is looking to support, and that the funding can be rolled out in stages. Woohoo!

Reggae Tunes Infiltrate My Soul

2009-01-25T17:41:00.001-04:00

(written 1.14.09)

Jah!

Jah guide my heart, guide my mind
You always know what’s best for me
Jah guide my heart, guide my mind
I know you’re always there with me

Open up my eyes and let me see
Jah you have never forsaken me
Jah guide my life, be my light
Bring me back from uncertainty

Jah guide my heart, guide my mind
You always know what’s best for me
Jah guide my heart, guide my mind
I know you’re always there with me

I don’t always hear ya
I don’t always see
My minds not always clear, ya
But I want to be free

Bring me back Jah from all that’s unclean
I’ll rise up and follow your righteous lead, yeah

(Instrumental break)

Jah, I’m a mess when I ignore ya
And blessed when I explore ya
My heart is sometimes tore, ya
But its you Jah, I always wanna live for, ya

Jah guide my heart, guide my mind
You always know what’s best for me
Jah guide my heart, guide my mind
I know you’re always there with me

(one more verse needed here)

(chorus needed here)

A mess when I ignore ya
And blessed when I explore ya

A mess when I ignore ya
And blessed when I explore ya

Frustrations, Yet Much Opportunity

2009-01-25T17:39:00.001-04:00

(written Tuesday January 13th, 2009)

It is very frustrating trying to start a project in St. Lucia! Everything misses its deadline and happens at a snail pace. However, things keep moving forward if you stay on task. Really though, it does seem like everything that can possibly delay a project is bound to go wrong. Telephone lines down, loosing rosters, not enough funding, consent forms not getting returned, internet down, no free rooms, blah, blah, blah! Every week is something different. I understand why they need my help getting “Why Try?” off the ground, but sometimes the relentless set backs are so discouraging to even me! I did run into a great opportunity today, though. One of the teachers at CCSS wants my help developing a ropes course, and I am very excited about the opportunity. I will be talking with him more later in the week to see how I might be able to assist him.

Who’s turning 25 in St. Lucia?

2009-01-25T17:35:00.001-04:00

(written 1.6.09)

It’s me, It’s me!

Hey everyone!

Yesterday I turned 25!! ONE-QUARTER of a century old!! Woohoo! Well, I wanted to go to this (very American) restaurant bar called Plantation Brewery because they have food, darts and a pool. However, as we walked down the barren streets at 7:00 on a Monday, it didn’t take long to learn that birthday darts and pool might be turning into birthday lime on the street with a bottle of Chairmen’s Rum. Apparently, everything closes down on Mondays… everybody parties to hard on the weekend to make it out on a Monday!

So, yes, Plantation Brewery was closed, so we tried a Café called Jungle; Closed. Pizza Pizza; Closed. Rituals (the coffee shop I always go to for their internet access); Open. Woohoo!! Nothin better than coffee and donuts on your 25th birthday… at least I had something to shove a candle into. I was also special enough to receive the St. Lucian traveling purse for my birthday from Lois, whom had previously received the purse on her birthday from Judy, whom had been given the purse by her host mom.

Furthermore, I did get to play pool on my birthday after all, cause Haley and I, along with a couple of my Lucian friends sought out the one and only little hut with a pool table that was open on a Monday this side of the island. We even got to play for free, woohoo!!

So, I would say, it feels quite nice to celebrate your 25th birthday as a Peace Corps Volunteer on the little island of St. Lucia!

Poverty

2008-12-30T11:26:00.001-04:00

I had the opportunity to visit a friend's house the other day. They live in a more impoverished area in Monchy, St. Lucia. They didn’t have a lock on their front door. It had to be kept closed with an empty gas cylinder. They don’t have running water or electricity, and they don’t have a washroom. They told me stories about how St. Lucia only received these things about 12 years ago. They remember bringing water from the river and bathing in the river. They expressed their blessing for having a neighbor near by that has pipe that they can draw water from on occasion. Incredible! I felt so spoiled. This same person expressed confusion about seeing Americans walk around with so much that make it look so hard.

Mango Tree

2008-12-30T11:25:00.001-04:00

My friend told me a story about a mango that I can’t forget. One day, when he was a small boy of the age of nine he got called to his fathers side. His father said to him pointing at an immature mango hanging from the mango tree, “You see that Mango son? That mango will be ripe by the end of the day, and if you don’t pick it before the sun goes down at sunset all the bats will come and start biting that mango, and by morning there won’t be any mango left for us to eat.” When he heard this he responded with confidence to what his father had said, “No panpan, I already climbed that tree this morning, and that mango won’t be ripe today, it’s much to firm to the touch, but that one there,” he said pointing to another mango lower in the tree, “will surely be ready by the end of the day.”

By the end of the day his father was dead; fell from a 70 foot drop while on the job working as a telephone pole repair man. That evening he went back to the mango tree to find the bats picking at the very same mango his father had pointed to, while his mango hung from the tree untouched and still to firm to eat.

He climbed the tree, plucked the unripe mango from the tree and left his fathers mango for the bats to devour in the night. The mango was gone in the morning.

Peanut Brittle

2008-12-30T11:24:00.000-04:00

As for that peanut brittle; boy can it be a project. The 2nd batch came out right and required much less sticky cleanup. As for batch #1, I wish I had taken pictures of my kitchen because you would have to see the mess to believe the disaster I made of my kitchen. Caution: baking soda makes things expand! Be sure to use large pot when making brittle!

Recipe for Peanut Brittle
(makes 1 ½ lbs)

2 cups white sugar
1 cup light corn syrup
2 cups raw Spanish peanuts
1 cup water
½ tsp salt
2 tbsp butter
2 tsp baking soda
Optional – dash of vanilla

Heat on low and stir sugar, syrup, and water in large saucepan until sugar dissolves. Add salt. Cook over medium heat to soft ball stage (234 degrees). Add peanuts at 250 degrees. Continue to boil until reaches hard crack stage (290 degrees), stirring often. Remove from heat.
Quickly stir in butter and baking soda. Beat to a froth for a few seconds. Pour at once into 2 well buttered 15 ½ x 10 ½ x 1 inch pans, spreading.
Break up when cold

(tip for if you don’t have a candy thermometer: when light amber color and when small amount dropped into ice cold water separates into soft balls, introduce peanuts. 290 – 300 degrees is when small amount dropped into ice cold water separates into hard and brittle threads immediately)

No White Sugar!

2008-12-30T11:23:00.000-04:00

(entry from 12.23.08)

Today I went to Bill Jackson’s house along with several fo the other PCVs. Him and his wife work with the peace corps, and they had invited us for Christmas lunch. It was nice to have a truly authentic x-mas dinner. After we feasted I left to run some errands. I was wanting to make some peanut brittle for my local friends, neighbors, and host family and still needed to buy the ingredients. I was able to purchase all but one ingredient at the Super J in Rodney Bay; one of the largest supermarkets where I live. However, one essential ingredient was in shortage, white sugar! I also checked the Super J just north of Rodney Bay, the Super J just south of Rodney Bay at Gablewood, and the Super J in Castries. None of them had sugar. I decided to stop by Mega J on my way home, thinking sugar in bulk is better than no sugar at all. Mega J is the Sams/Casco of St. Lucia, and they were all out of white sugar as well!

In a last attempt, I stopped at the mini-mart in Babonneau, and of course they didn’t have any sugar either. How could this be? Just 3 days ago there was a shortage of brown sugar and white sugar was in abundance, and now it is 2 days before Christmas and I can’t find white sugar anywhere. I asked my neighbor, Cindie; she had no sugar. Cindie called and asked her mom to try the shop next to their business. What do you know; NO WHITE SUGAR!! Just as I was giving up and about to result to using cane sugar as a substitute Cindie suggested walking to her brothers house to see if Prascillia had sugar. YAHOO, his wife had 2lb of white sugar. I had 2lb of brown cane sugar. Walabing walaboom, we made the swap!

Ohhh the woes of being an islander!

Hiking Mt. Gimie

2008-12-30T11:15:00.001-04:00

Mt. Gimie

Yesterday I climbed Mount Gimie! Mt. Gimie is the highest peak in St. Lucia! It stands 3,200 ft. tall. We started the climb at 10am. At about 1:00 and just 1 hour to the top I was bear crawling to the top, I was so tired. One hands and feet I slowly ascended stone over stone to the summit. Our hiking party was 13 strong, and I was the 3rd one to arrive to the tope. When I got there, boy was it a sight to see. We had a clear view for about 20 minutes before the clouds and fog covered the peak. I hear you are lucky if you get a view from the top because peak is always covered in clouds. When I got to the top and looked out at the 360 degree view of the island and ocean, all the strain and weariness from climbing for 4 hours faded away in an instant. Incredibly, a rainbow appeared near by where it had been raining. Absolutely beautiful!

We started our dissension at 2:45. Seven of us reached the halfway point by 4:30, where we waited a good while for the 2nd party of 6 to catch up. At 5:15 we became concerned about hiking back in the dark and decided to begin to make our way out, without the other party. We knew they had a couple of flash lights to help assist them. As we were climbing over large boulders, across thin ledges, and using roots to help us climb I began to worry for the safety of the crew that would be trying to follow the 6 inch wide, nearly buried trail back in the dark. The climb isn’t easy; its and advanced trail (rated a 5 on a 1 – 5 difficulty scale established by the forestry department), and should probably only be attempted in the light of the day.

At 7:05 just as the trail is widening out to the road that takes us for our final stretch I received a text message from Wendy in the other crew saying that they just reached the river that marks the half way point! This means they were 2 ½ hours behind us and by now completely in the dark! We reached the trail head by 7:30 and were on Wayne’s bus sleeping by 8:00PM. At this time Wayne called Lynn, who’s hiked the trail 5 times now and had stayed in the 2nd party of hikers. Lynn said they would be out in 1 hour. At 9:00 Lynn says the same thing, “out in an hour.” At 10:00 it’s the same answer, and we are thinking that surely they must have gotten lost. At 11:00 Lynn says the party is just at the part of the trail where it widens to the road for the final stretch. At 11:30 three of the guys, Burt, Gylan and Mervin go back down the trail to try and speed up the party. At midnight Burt came tromping out of the trail with a girl on his back! We had been waiting for 4 hours on the bus for the 2nd party!

One of the girls in the 2nd crew had a very difficult time getting down, and this is what slowed down the party so much. When speaking with her more I found out that she is not an experienced hiker, and she had never gone hiking with our crew before. Now, I thought it was a tough hike for sure, and I did come out with plenty of battle scars (stripes from the razor grass mainly) but we all got to see what the mountain can do to someone who is not a hiker; can be down right debilitating!

Nonetheless, I’d hike it again!!

Why Are We Here?

2008-12-17T12:27:00.003-04:00

Lately, I’ve been hearing some volunteers asking the questions, “Why are we even in St. Lucia?” and “Do they really need us here?” I must admit, the thought has crossed my mind a time or two - as I walk through the new mall in Castries; sip on an Iced Chai Latte at Rituals, the coffee shop that's imitated Starbucks; visit new places like Meaga J, a bulk retail store designed like Casco; and catch glimpses of the flat screen TVs that are on display in Courts retail windows, it is easy to think that St. Lucia is well on its way to becoming an industrialized nation. It is true, the commercial development here is advanced. It is also true that the sight of strip malls and classy resorts can create an illusion of sustainable wealth and capital. But I urge you not to be fooled by St. Lucias access to industrial world technologies and merchandise. After all, the majority of the development here is outsourced and comes from without.

Anyway, we are not here to help St. Lucians acquire material things. I feel that our place here is in creating the kind of social change and capital that allows St. Lucian youth to thrive, communities to take an active role in addressing community needs, local businesses to succeed in a country influenced by and competing with global corporations, the disenfranchised to have a voice, and the island to become more self sustaining through the development of technologies from within!

I think most PCVs join the Peace Corps expecting to be sent to a destitute place that is experiencing extreme, unmistakable poverty. We don’t expect to have access to cable television and the internet, and we definitely don’t expect to see laptops and flat screens in the market. However, tell me, how many houses have you gone in that have A/C, flat screen TVs, or running water everyday. Very few, you will tell me.

That’s beside the point. Ask, how many children are taught by teachers that lead a student centered classroom? How many kids pass their classes above the 50% mark? How many children are going to school without text books, and how many hang out on the school yard after school because they don’t have supportive families to go home to?
How many parents and teachers beat their children and students because they simply don't know of any alternative methods? How many children have parents show up to their football games? How many parents know how to communicate with their kids about specific health topic like HIV/AIDS and safe sex?
How many people have unfaithful spouses? How many are carrying on in sexual relationships without getting their STIs treated or ever getting tested for HIV/AIDS? How many homes have alcoholic family members? How many households have absentee fathers? How many of the disabled have access to resources, and how many are ever treated fairly? How many people are eating healthy? How many children are drinking alcohol and having sex before the age of 10? How many teenagers are having babies, and how many women get harassed on a daily basis?

The answers to these questions are remarkable and appalling, to say the least. This list may be exhaustive, but sadly I could go on.

This is why we are in St. Lucia!

New Things I Have Learned To Cook

2008-12-17T12:25:00.003-04:00

Green Split Pea Soup

Serves 3
1 cup split peas
1 tbsp oil
3 cups water
1 bay leaf
½ cup finely shredded carrot
1 vegetable or chicken cube
Small bunch of celery
West Indies pepper sauce
3 cloves garlic
Salt and black pepper
1 onion

Add water, peas, celery, onion, oil, bay leaf to pressure cooker; cover and cook 40 min. Allow steam to escape before removing cover. Add garlic, carrots, cube, and seasoning. Cook another 20 minutes or until peas tender adding more water if needed. Mash soup until smooth

Yellow Rice

Serves 3
1 cup rice
1 tbsp oil
1 tbsp butter
1 tsp turmeric
2 cups water
1 cup fresh spinach

Heat oil and butter in large pan over medium heat. Add rice and stir to coat. Add water, salt, and turmeric. Bring to boil then reduce heat to a simmer and cover. Cook 15 minutes. Uncover and stir in spinach. Cover and cook another 10 minutes or until rice tender. Add water as needed.

'Why Try?' Meeting

2008-12-17T12:23:00.002-04:00

(Journal Entry: Thursday December 12th, 2008)

Today I had my first parent meeting for ‘Why Try?’ We were expecting 25-30 of the parents to show up. We sent out letters about the meeting, and even made a personal call to most of the parents. I was not able to reach all of the parents, but I did get 25 confirmations. Of the 25 that confirmed only 10 showed up. Not one single unreached parent attended the meeting. This was a huge disappointment. We are involving the students in a program that each student has expressed interest in. We sent a letter home explaining the importance of the program; to help their at-rick children develop various life skills. Its deplorable that over half of the parents didn’t show up to support their kids! Unfortunately, we must have a signed permission slip for each kid and some kids wont get to attend because their parents will remain unreachable. No wonder, some of them are struggling.

Always Waiting

2008-12-17T12:22:00.000-04:00

(Journal Entry: Thursday December 12th, 2008)

I’m sitting on my coach passing the time by watching Tempo, the music video TV station. I am waiting (I do a lot of that here) for my IPP to call me. She gives me a ride to work some mornings. This morning we were supposed to leave at 7:15, but there is no telling what time we will actually roll out. My guess is 8:00. As I have mentioned before, this course of events is quite typical; that is, any and all events start significantly later than scheduled! Any mention of its frequency is always met with the typical explanation, “Ye, Caribbean time gasa!” Gasa is just another slang for ‘man’ ‘dude’ ‘brother’… ye get da idea, gasa?

Despite my knowing that everything happens on ‘Caribbean time’ I can’t help but be ready or show up on time for everything! It seems as though American society has successfully imbedded a since of punctuality in me that leaves me feeling guilty any time I am late. Additionally, I fear the classic situation; which would be choosing to show up to an event one day 30 minutes later than scheduled simply to find everyone already there, waiting on me, and wondering why I would be late to such a significant affair.

You might mention to me, “Well, just don’t be late for a significant event,” and I would tell you, “What’s insignificant; debriefing the student body about a students recent death, a mandatory parental training workshop held for all school counselors, my IPPs wedding, or an HIV/AIDS walk that is due to begin promptly at 9:00?” All of these events seem significant enough to imbue a sense of promptness, but each one of them started an hour late! Participants are always left waiting, and I always show up on time for the waiting.

7:55 and still waiting for the car.

Oh, and did I mention, we are scheduled to attend a youth summit today, but first we must drive 15 minutes to school, attend an assembly, pick up a couple of kids that will be going to the summit, and drive another 15 minutes to the summit location. The summit is scheduled for 8:00!

(Car didn’t arrive until 8:15 this day)

Men As Partners in St. Lucia

2008-12-09T16:11:00.002-04:00

Last week I participated in an HIV?AIDS workshop titled "Men As Partners". The workshop was facilitated by two guys, Conroy and Michael, from Jamaica's Ashe Performing Edutainment Company. The workshop was phenomenal. I have only attended one other 3 day workshop in my life that concluded leaving the participants wishing that it didn't have to come to an end, and that was the Landmark forum. The workshop was interactive and elicited rich group discussion.

On the last day of the workshop all the participants met with their island groups. There were 4 - 5 participants from each of the 5 Caribbean islands that were present, one Peace Corps Volunteer, the island APCD, and 2 - 3 locals involved in HIV/AIDS work. Our task is to put together an initiative that will involve more men in HIV/AIDS prevention on our island. My group, made up of me, Sharmon (APCD), and a man and woman from NAPS (National Aids Programming Secretariat) want to host a workshop for men who are fathers and create an ongoing dialogue around gender issues, sexuality, and HIV/AIDS. Our hope is to sensitize more men to the deeper issues that have the Caribbean be the 2nd hottest spot in the world for the spread of HIV/AIDS. We want men to be empowered to change their behavior, and we want fathers to be knowledgeable enough on these issues so that they can communicate openly with their sons about the said issues. YEY!!

S'more S'mores Please

2008-12-09T16:09:00.003-04:00

(Journal Entry from December 2nd, 2008)

I went camping this past weekend in Louvert. In the morning we explored the beach, opened coconuts and I tried to climb the coconut tree.... or I tried to climb the coconut tree. In the afternoon we hiked to a waterfall. Carol and I got to the top of the waterfall that stood about 75 feet tall. Every time I visit a new waterfall I can't resist making my way to the top of it, because you never know what you will find. At the top of this particular waterfall there was another 15 foot waterfall and a swimming hole. Of course, we took a dip in the pool of water but had to get out soon there after, because the Minos wouldn't stop nipping at our ankles! After cooling out by the waterfalls for some time we hiked to Dennery where our bus picked us up to take us back to Castries. If you check out a map of St. Lucia you will have an idea of how far we had to hike... many many miles.

OH yes, the night we camped in Louvert we tried to make a fire. At first, everyone wanted to just go straight to sleep, as we didn't find our camping sight until 2AM. I told them I wanted to teach them how to make s'mores, but every single one of my St. Lucian camping buddies had either never heard of a s'more before or had never had one before; so the word "s'more" didn't excite them in the way I thought it would. However, all I had to say was "chocolate and marshmallows" and the fellas were up and searching for fire wood. I was excited to introduce the wonderfully delicious ooey and gooey St. Lucian S'more to everyone. I sat "St. Lucian S'more" because I did have to modify the ingredients a bit. Since you can't by Graham Crackers in St. Lucia I had to substitute the Graham Crackers with Hob-Nobs, a circular sweat cracker that they make here. Unfortunately the wind was too strong and the wood to wet to get a good fire going and no s'mores were made. I did learn a fire starting technique though. Dried coconut husk is the best base you could ever have for a fire!

No One’s Getting Thinner at Thanksgiving Dinner

2008-12-08T17:40:00.002-04:00

(Journal Transcription from November 27th, 2008)

Today is both Thanksgiving and the three month anniversary of our arrival in St. Lucia! Thanksgiving was wonderful! It was my first thanksgiving away from home and I was feeling rather apprehensive about it. Quite honestly, I expected the day to be a little dull without all the hustle and bustle, the decorations, thanksgiving traditions like decorating the tree after dinner, fighting over the wish bone, no family, Stacy, or other friends brought home for the great feast, etc. However, while the tradition of having some of my international friends over for thanksgiving was broken for my family, being in another country has allowed me to uphold the tradition. Anyway, I thought the day would be a little dull, and it wasn’t feeling a lot like Thanksgiving when I woke up in the morning. I thought staying up all night trying to perfect the recipe of a home made key lime pie would get me in the spirit, but when I woke up it still felt like just another day.

We decided to have a big Thanksgiving feast at Mary-Ellen’s house. She is a volunteer in Dennery, a cute little village on the Atlantic coast. About 30 of us brought different Thanksgiving dishes to complete the feast. We had three 12lb turkeys, stuffing, gravey, cranbarries, potatoes, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, spinach casserole, salad, mixed vegetables, potato salad, corn, cream corn, rolls, Caribbean rolls, tortillas with a bean, pepper and corn mixture, pasta, cranberry orange bread, brownies, pumpkin pie, apple pie, key lime pie, cookies, raspberry cream cheese spread, carrot cake, chocolate cake, cup cakes that looked like little hats, fudge and more. AND, we ate it ALL! Everyone chatted, had a good time, and some watched the Macey’s day parade. And let me tell you, by the end of all that food it felt unmistakably like Thanksgiving!

Oh and as a side note for the family, funny thing how I really cared about helping set everything up and cleaning when it was all done. Even though I might always run away from cleaning duties after dinner at home, I have obviously been taught well, haha. Mama, you would be proud… though I was a little sorry to not have a Bridget on hand!

Making My Mark

2008-11-21T17:37:00.001-04:00

I might be interested in school counseling at some point in the states. I am enjoying working with the kids so far. Perhaps I will work at a school in a low income district. I am feeling inspired by some of the positive ways I have been able to impact the lives of several of the kids in the past days.

Today a 15-year-old boy told me he lives on his own. His mom is dead and his 75-year-old father is living on a ventilator in the hospital. He has an older brother and sister in their 20s. His brother is his main support but the school discourages his involvement because he is a Rastafarian and a drug dealer. The boy will be starting in my Why Try Program next term. Cases like his exist all over St. Lucia and St. Lucia has no way of helping these kids. There is 1 boys home but it’s exclusively for boys who have committed criminal acts. So, does my boy have to commit a crime in order to get a meal? Unfortunately I hear that this is exactly what is happening with many young, unsupported boys. There isn’t a viable foster care program in St. Lucia and there is no homeless shelter for these kids. It’s a tragedy, for true! Today I was able to get this boy free breakfast and lunch for the rest of the term on the schools expense. His story is a sad one, and my heart breaks even more when I see the school staff and teachers relating to him only as a ‘troublesome child.’ It is clear that this culture has just barely begun the exploration of child development and human psychology.

As the days go by my place and purpose here become more concrete. Clearly, one contribution I have to offer is to model effective communication with youth and especially at-risk youth, and to help mobilize some of the groups and create systematic procedures that help to maintain the sustainability of the groups. Hopefully, I can help the counselor to get some of the at-risk youth involved in more groups, clubs and community activities.

I’m White and I’m the Only One That Notices

2008-11-21T17:11:00.000-04:00

Most days I feel like a foreigner. It’s clear in my mind. It’s simple. I feel different in mentality and in color. However, at certain times, and as time goes on I feel like I have a place here, like I get it. For instance, when hiking with the Sunday group I feel that I am amongst friends and any differences are not very apparent. I am brought back to ponder the topic of race. When integration first began the cultural differences were hard not to notice. They were obvious and made me feel out of place. My life consisted of a continuous stream of uncomfortable situations. My different skin tone made me feel even more foreign and like one more thing that set me apart from the locals. While this difference is really not any sort of meaningful difference at all, when it is paired with culture shock, having a different skin tone stood out in my mind as just one more barrier to easy integrating. I have wondered on more than one occasion how much easier it would be to integrate if I were black. However, as I have begun to settle in and come to feel more and more comfortable and familiar with this new place I think about the color difference less and less. It’s becoming only a minute detail, trivial at best.

When you are having fun and feeling at ease you realize that being uncomfortable with the color difference was only confused with the discomfort of being in a totally new and unfamiliar environment. Perhaps the preoccupation with it is born out of a deep seeded historical socialization that’s conditioned us to have regard for color differences. In St. Lucia, being concerned that a color difference might be creating a barrier that sets one apart is needless and a waste of energy. It unnecessarily exasperates the discomfort of being in a new and unfamiliar culture. The truth of the matter is that St. Lucians don’t carry the same degree of race discrimination that we historically have and currently do in America. You will see that the treatment of minorities (in this case whites) in St. Lucia is to be envied and set as a standard to model.

Once I cool out and stop worrying that my race may set me apart I realize that I am the only one taking notice of the fact that I am white. Yeah, you might be mistaken for a tourist every once in a while and offered a taxi or asked if you need assistance making your way around the island, but people relate to you as any other ordinary human being. They like to get to know you, and in their eyes they just have a darker tan. No difference is seen between whites and blacks by St. Lucians. From their point of view the only important difference in being black or white is that they rarely need to worry about burning in the sun. Yeah, a Lucian friend might warn you every once in a while to put on more sunscreen when you are getting red in the hot Caribbean sun. Of course, this might be followed by friendly banter of calling you a lobster and noting their own luck of not having to worry so much about the sun… lucky them!

Hiking up La Sorciere’s Mountain (Hiking up The Sorcerer’s Mountain)

2008-11-21T17:01:00.003-04:00

Sunday we went hiking. It was a 9 hour day! First we hiked from Babonnaue to the base of La Sorciere (pronounced ‘La So-see-e). La Sorciere is a 2,200 ft. mountain, effectively the 4th highest peak in St. Lucia; preceded first by Petit Piton, the third highest point, towering at 2,461 ft., then Gros Piton the second highest at 2,640 ft., and finally, Mt. Gime wins the prize for 1st place, standing tall at 3,117 ft. Anyway, back to my story…

We hiked up La Sorciere, all the while sharing and making up stories about the mountain. One of the guys told of the ancient myth of how La Sorciere got her name. It is simple; no man that hikes up the mountain ever returns, because The Sorcerer puts a hex on him.

Obviously, we busted that myth!

After cutting our own trail to the top of the mountain we made our way down and set out walking to Louvert. Louvert is an abandoned beach town in the district of Dennery that rests at the edge of the Atlantic Ocean. It is a sight to see!

Beauty!

Before arriving to Louvert I was kicking myself for forgetting my swimsuit. Lynn tried telling me not to worry, that the waters were much too rough to swim in. Naturally, being the stubborn adventurer that I am I wrote him off, smirking and expecting to just swim in the pair of athletic shorts and t-shirt that I brought along. I mean, what would a St. Lucian that has lived here his whole life, hiked all over the island, and visited the Louvert beach multiple times know anyway? Geez!

Let me tell you; part of the astounding beauty of Louvert is its powerful waters.

The beach is nestled in a small cove. To one side is a sandy beach lined with coconut trees that bends away out of sight, its posterior only to be seen from the top of the cliffs and cave that border the northern side of the cove. Standing on the cliff’s edge, which juts far into the Atlantic, look to your right. It’s grander than picture perfect; La Sorciere in the background covered in mist; an expanse of trees filling the divide between you and her; and a river that zigzags its way down from the mountain flows into the cove, hidden at every switchback by the lush forestry. As you look up the river from the cove your eyes yearn to follow it farther than the tree line allows, as it turns away out of sight just up stream.

Look to your Left. The ominous ocean waves roar as they continuously pound the rocks. You would think you were in the deep see at the time of a tropical storm; current strong and forceful; its rhythm unpredictable. Except, you are not… You are on the beach, feeling only a light breeze and occasional sprinkle. The ocean seems to have a life of her own and her untamed waves threaten to engulf all that trespass beyond the sandy boundary. In an instant her power and beauty overwhelm you and engender within your spirit a deep respect for her commanding authority.

When the sun made its descent, we were chased away by the quickly approaching darkness and began our 2 ½ hour walk back to Babonnaue. Eventually the night caught up to us with an hour of walking still ahead of us. Prospere was in a rush. He worried me with stories of wild pigs… the only pigs we saw were in large sties that reeked of deprecations as we passed by. My guess is those piggies will be served for Christmas.

Eventually the spooky trail taking us back to the main road came to its head and we reemerged from yet another adventure with memories only to be shared by a precious 9 other individuals. And I mustn’t forget the challenge of crossing a river during the pitch black night on sporadically placed stepping stones. We attempted to hop from stone to stone one at a time. The only light to guide us was one small flashlight that we held for each other to direct one another’s next leap!

Rainforest Adventures

2008-11-12T14:42:00.002-04:00

Last Sunday I went on a hike with Haley, two teachers I work with and 6 of their friends. It was 10 of us hiking and our trail was from Laborie (on the southern side of the island) to Soufriere (on the west side of the island). We stopped at a waterfall on our way to the trail to Soufriere. The waterfall is considered one of the best on the island because it is a series of three big waterfalls and you can bathe in the water holes below them. It was a nice hike, of moderate difficulty. How about I give you a rough time line of our rainforest events:

10:00 - bus driver drops us on trail in Laborie with word to pick us up in Soufriere at 4pm

10:30 - Jules starts complaining "where is the waterfall?"

10:45 - We stop to pick five-finger fruit from star fruit tree

11:00 - Jules, "where is the waterfall?"

11:15 - Jules decides to change from flip-flops to hiking boats

11:30 - We reach the waterfall and take pictures

11:45 - We eat lunch at waterfall

12:00 - Carol and I decide to hike to top of waterfall

12:15 - We make it to top and take pictures; Ashley and Carol spot Haley changing into her swim suit in a not so secluded hiding spot down below

12:30 - we climb back down the ledge of the waterfall

12:45 - I go to change into swimsuit in Haley's predetermined not so secluded hiding spot

1:15 - I finish swimming and we prepare to find France Jacques hiking trail

2:00 - we are well off trail heading in what Lenn think to be the right direction; Lenn checks his compass

2:15 - Lenin tries his GPS... no signal; Lenn checks his compass; we keep walking

2:30 - Lenn checks his compass; Lenn decides he thinks we are lost; we change course and keep walking

2:45 - We are definitely LOST; It starts pouring down rain. Lenn checks his compass; we keep walking

3:00 - Jules and Lenn consult compass and topographical map together and try to decide if we should retrace our steps; we keep walking.

3:10 - We stop; Lenn and Jules go off on their own, due to report back in 10 min.

3:15 - ...

3:20 - ...

3:25 - .... "WHOOP WHOOP" I shout. Lenin whistles.... .... ....

3:30 - Jules and Lenn return, they found the trail!

3:35 - We are uncertain we are on the right trail; Lenin's GPS has signal... it shows we are in Venezuela

3:45 - signs of civilization; we meet a Rasta that tells us we are on a back trail but headed the right way.

3:55 - trail opens up and we have arrived in Frances Jacques! Bus is there waiting for us!!

4:30 - sleeping on the bus

5:30 - dropped off at home

5:35 - turn on shower... NO WATER!!!!!!!

6:00 - NO WATER

6:30 - I take a bucket bath!

It was a very eventful day! We all had a blast. I will be hiking with this group most Sundays, yea!!!

Other things going on:
learning to live without the internet in my home
coming to love Babonnaue
starting projects at schools
getting golden apples out of really high trees with a long stick and with the help of Cindy
Losing water all the time and taking bucket baths
adjusting to the fact that nothing here starts on time
making bakes with my neighbor, Cindy
teaching my neighbor Acquila's daughter, Jeniqua how to make shadow puppets
teaching Jamal, Cindy's 1-year-old son how to give a high five!
paying my way to high St. Lucian phone bill!
surviving the mosquitoes

OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA!

2008-11-05T13:46:00.000-04:00

OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA!

Last night was election night in America! St. Lucians have a tremendous amount of support for President Elect Barack Obama. There is even a Caribbean island Barrack Obama song that is played on the radio here, produced by a local artist. I’m trying to get a copy to send you guys. The Embassy invited us to a watch party in Castries last night and that is where I found myself at 7pm last night, my time. There were so many people there and it was so loud that some of us decided to leave and I ended up watching the results come through at Haley’s house. St. Lucians were hosting watch parties all over the island. When Obama was announced as the President Elect St. Lucians celebrated along with America. The streets were loud; people were shouting and toasting the occasion. It’s incredible how much interest the locals have in the election. Right now, as I type there’s a man and woman sitting behind me, both St. Lucian. They are speaking about how they loved Obama’s speech. One man is talking about how he was afraid Obama would get assassinated during his speech! St. Lucians, were watching along with us, and along with many other nations. In moments, Obama and the American people took a major step in repairing our image around the globe.

I tell you; last night I became a proud American, for true.

OH, that’s Why Everyone Walks Around With a Machete

2008-11-05T13:30:00.003-04:00

(Journal Entry from Monday October 27th, 2008)

So, I just spent the past 30 minutes cutting 1 pea size hole into each of 3 different coconuts. I was determined to get the coconut milk! The last coconut is still draining in this moment… its been about 5 minutes… gives you an idea of how big, or should I say how small the hole ended up being.

When my landlord, Mr. Bailey gave me the coconuts followed by a remark of “careful not to cut yourself” I just smirked. I didn’t know if the remark was a sexist one or not; oops, sorry Mr. Bailey. Ooh, my coconut just finished draining!

Anyhow; the whole coconut fiasco started at about 8 o’clock this morning when I went to greet my landlord with a ‘bonjou.’ He was just gathering some coconuts onto the driveway. Don’t ask me how he got them out of the 15 foot tall tree. He did say once that he used to climb the trees, but certainly he can’t do it anymore! Anyhow, he asked if I wanted some of the coconuts and I graciously accepted the offer. He started slicing the skin off of about half of the coconut with a machete. He did this with 3 of the coconuts and it looked simple enough. However, he did cut too deep into one of the coconuts and all of the milk poured out onto the driveway! He offered me the 3 sliced coconuts and told me to just cut a whole into them when I was ready to get the milk, and “oh” he says, “be careful not to cut yourself.” I put the coconuts in my refrigerator and am just revisiting them now.

3 coconuts filled up one small glass pitcher. I decided to put the empty shells back in my refrigerator to ask Mr. Bailey what I should do with them. I know that on the inside they have a nice coconut lining that I can’t figure out how to get to. I think I might need to borrow his machete… and some advice for how to poke a hole into a coconut!

Potential Projects

2008-10-21T14:53:00.000-04:00

I swear in as an official Peace Corps Volunteer (PCV) tomorrow! I made it! So, there are a few project ideas that I am considering. I will just list them out here.
1. Liaise between organization that offers SAT prep courses and teachers at secondary school to train teachers to provide SAT prep to student athlete and other students.
2. Develop a Healthy Intimate Relationships course with guidance counselors for students at the secondary level.
3. Implement the Why Try program with at-risk youth at the secondary school level.
4. Partner with another volunteer to do an HIV sculpture project in the schools that increases awareness and reduces stigma of HIV.
5. Help develop a Peer Health Advisors program.
6. Create a Girl Guides group in my community

1st World Media Brainwashes 3rd World Nations

2008-10-21T14:13:00.002-04:00

(Journal Entry from Sunday October 19th, 2008)

I really just don’t know what to document anymore about me experience as a Peace Corps Volunteer. Just about everyday is novel, but novelty is so common that it seems trivial and unimportant to speak of it. Newness is the norm in my life to the extent that things seem just the same. The other day I found myself at a house across the street from the Pastoral Center in the town of Marisule’s East Winds. The Pastoral Center is where we spent our first 3 days in St. Lucia. Strangely, when I saw it I didn’t recognize it, even in the least. I suppose this is because the context was different and my perceptive lens has changed. I could swear when we first arrived on island and drove to the Center the road and view were different. The road was smaller and more rugged than what it is now. The view was more expansive and foreign. Now, the road seems normal and the view familiar. My Lucian lenses are becoming clearer.

I find myself wondering what it would be like to never have seen roads the size of airport landing strips, roads that pass over one another in the sky and building that reach the clouds. It must be wondrous to see those things on TV. It is even beginning to amaze me. What is it like to never have seen snow or hail, to no know what it is like to have mail delivered to your front door? What is it like to be astonished that there exists a place in the world where all the children own lap tops and IPods? A place where all adults have their drivers license and cars. It is beginning to seem extraordinary even to me.

My friend asked me today about clubs in Texas. I had to correct him and assure him that ‘No, all the clubs are not like Girls Gone Wild’. He thought the club scene would be one of girls running around topless and guys having sex with them on the dance floor. I was astonished that I was being asked this in all seriousness. Then I realized, this is what they get to see on TV commercials, which leads me to another topic.

Currently, I am living in a third world nation which has access to the media and technological merchandise of the industrial first world nations. Through cable television and advertising St. Lucians are exposed to the luxuries that Americans have access to, e.g., more fast-food chains than you can name, IPods, IPhones, fashion, accessories, fancy cars, large universities, pools, Wal-Mart, enormous ball stadiums, high rises, restaurants, new shoes, boats, spas, etc, etc, etc. What do you think exposure to this media does to the ‘have nots’? Well, the same thing it does in American culture; it develops an appetite. The local markets are no longer satisfactory and the people hunger. People find themselves wanting the McDonalds, Wendys, chain restaurants, Wal-Marts, and more merchandise. They welcome the large corporations. They bring jobs and wealth they say. They don’t see how these things drown out the local markets, breed consumerism, promote materialism, increase dependence, and depersonalize society. Why don’t we show that in our media? The constant exposure to the advertisements of large businesses in the states sadly makes them want those businesses to come to St. Lucia. I wish that instead, Lucians would be driven to develop technology and projects here so that their labor won’t be exploited later by American business owners.

I don’t know, it’s just my initial thoughts and logging of the subject and I need to reflect on the topic more at a later date.

PC Policy Gets in the Way; Sorry Rasta.

2008-10-21T13:35:00.000-04:00

(Journal Entry from Saturday October 18th, 2008)

I spoke with a Rasta today. I was at a birthday party with my host mom and he was sitting by himself. He was one of the birthday woman’s 10 children. I told him that I wanted to learn more about Rastafarianism from a real Rasta rather than just go on what I have read on the internet or through word of mouth. He said there are many different movements but the main thing with all of them is that they don’t judge people based on color or way of life, that we are all part of the human race. I asked him why Rastas are vegetarians and he said that it is because we are all animals and we should respect life. I didn’t quite understand why he thinks eating fish is okay though. He was not too eager to talk about his religion to be honest with you. He told me that it would be best for him if I just asked specific questions rather than just ask him to tell me a bit about his religion. It was an odd conversation.

Talking with him got me thinking about some of the youth development goals of St. Lucia and how some of PC’s policies and procedures make it difficult to satisfy some of the goals of St. Lucia’s youth development efforts. In some of our youth development training sessions we discussed the importance of trying to reach both the attached youth (those that are reachable through various schools and organizations) and the unattached youth (those more difficult to reach because they are not attached through schools, work, or organizations). FYI: Youth is defined as anyone between the ages of 7 and 35. Now, it occurred to me that a large majority of the unattached youth are Rastafarians. This is because many Rastas are against working for ‘the system’. They make their own way and live off the land. Many of them live in poverty and with this comes the pitfalls of poverty; lack of education, and resources, increased drug addiction and crime, and deterioration in health. Of course we would want to reach the unattached youth.

However, there are many obstacles to reaching the unattached youth. The inherent ones, to mention a few are, their lack of interest, lack of availability, lack of visibility, and the ‘systems’ lack of connection with the unattached youth. As if these things aren’t enough, PC policy adds another barrier. Any PC volunteer that ‘appears to be associated’ with anyone who does drugs, including marijuana, will be sent on the next plane home. This policy in and of itself seems to be a good policy and the reasons for it are obvious, however, the policy, unfortunately and unintentionally creates a potential barrier for PC volunteers who want to help St. Lucia to reach the unattached youth. Working with the unattached youth may mean making connections and building relationships with some people that are more likely than the attached youth to be involved in drug activity, in most cases the activity is only smoking of marijuana. This would risk damaging the PCVs image in the community by being associated with Rastas and risk being sent home. Does this mean I should not be part of the initiative to reach the unattached youth? Regretfully it is decidedly so.

Tedious Training

2008-10-21T13:23:00.000-04:00

(Journal Entry from Monday October 13th, 2008)

PC training only has one week left, WOOHOO!!!

My gosh! It’s been excruciating to sit in the training room for hours on end every week. Surely, training has got to be the hardest part. It doesn’t require a lot of brain power, but it requires insurmountable quantities of patience and tolerance. Usually 10% of PCVs drop out of the PC before every being sworn in and now I understand why. It isn’t because they are homesick or incapable of doing the work. More than once in the past 6 weeks of training I felt like calling it quits because of the ridiculous dog and pony show. Some of the PCVs in the past may not be willing to put on their clown face for seven weeks, but our group has persevered and broken a PC record; not a single person in our Eastern Caribbean group has gone home yet. We must be a tough group!

When it Rains it Pours!!

2008-10-21T13:01:00.000-04:00

(Journal Entry from Saturday October 11th, 2008)

Yesterday, the tropical wave hit. I am still uncertain as to what exactly a tropical wave is, but the symptoms so far seem to be rain, rain, and more rain. I don’t think it has stopped raining once since yesterday. The degree to which it is raining has oscillated between a soft mist and torrential downpour, but the rain is relentless. I speculate that a wave is a series of storms that are too unorganized to be considered a tropical depression. Nonetheless, the ‘wave’ has caused quite a commotion.

Highlights:
Mrs. B gets a call from our neighbor. Mrs. B excitedly tells me that the river that runs parallel to the road, just 100 yards away is overflowing, and the water is at our neighbor’s doorsteps!!
Mrs. B and I run to the veranda to find the water creeping halfway up our driveway!
I grab my camera to capture pictures of the dude across the way wading waist deep in water!
I run outside to find tons of people lining the streets holding their umbrellas watching the street too flooded for traffic to get through!
Even when the water recedes the people remain watching in amazement as a steady flow of traffic passes through the neighborhood; more traffic than any of us have ever seen come through the neighborhood!
Talk on the street is that the traffic came from the friends and families in surrounding areas that were phoned and wanted to see the flooding! OH MY!!

Experience This Moment With Me

2008-10-20T15:48:00.004-04:00

(Journal Entry from October 4th, 2008)

Sometimes it is hard to process my experience here. I wish I had a video camera on my shoulder to take with me everywhere I go. Then you would get to soak in all the sights and sounds along with me. So, let me try to capture for you my experience in this moment.

I close my eyes. I hear the soft beat of some Soca tunes cascading from up the road, a baby’s cries pierce through the open windows of my neighbor’s house, and the rumbling of rocks crunching under the wheels of passing cars, trucks and buses. I hear a friendly 'beep beep' between two cars that are familiar with one another, and the occasional sliding of minibus doors as passengers find their stop. There are construction workers hammering down the road, birds chirping, roosters crowing, dogs barking and the usual hissing sound men make as they watch a pretty lady walk by.

I open my eyes. I see a couple chatting on the veranda across the way, lines of laundry hang in the afternoon sun, and my neighbor is sweeping out her house with a broom made from palm leaves. The mango, guava and banana trees rustle in the cool breeze, a young boy runs through the street barefoot, and a couple of stray dogs rummage through the litter on the street for something to satisfy their hunger. I see a mountainous landscape covered in lush greenery, dotted with lovely houses that are raised on stilts. Then there is the sky; oh the clouds. Everyday I make it a point to watch the sky. It is extraordinary to always see in the sky so many different types of clouds, of all different sizes, and at different altitudes. As I look up I see the three main types of clouds, the Cirrus, the high-level wispy looking clouds; the Cumulus, the mid-level puffy heap clouds; and the Stratus, the low-level gray clouds with breaks of clear sky in them. There are also all different combinations of these three main types, and I don’t know their names, but it is a sight to see. It is truly beautiful. This doesn’t happen in the sky back home. Finally, every once in a while I see Rasta’s gallop down the street riding their horses bareback, though not at this moment.

Then there are the smells. The flavorful scent of the breadfruit, veggie, beef stew that my host mom is making drifts to the porch from inside the house, and occasional a catch a scent of the marijuana smoke that wafts from a few of the near by houses.

Just an Aside on American Politics

2008-10-20T14:28:00.006-04:00

(Journal Entry from September 29th, 2008 9:30pm)

For the past week I have been watching the CNN and BBC coverage of America's financial crisis. I saw the news of major banks and creditors failing, watched as congress purposed a 700 billion dollar bail out bill, and watched as that bill was voted against in the House. If I, a well educated woman am left confused and uncertain, I can't imagine what must be going through the minds of the average American... fear.

It makes since to me that we cannot live on credit forever, eventually debts must be repaid. If banks lend money to millions of people that can't afford the debt, they risk inability to repay their major lenders and financial partners. I am not surprised in even the mildest sense of the word that this is happening. I only don't understand why this is the moment; what straw broke the camels back? Perhaps the answer to 'why now?' is insignificant. Americans spend beyond their means and eventually we will reap what we sow. This is not only the fault of the large corporations that okay bad mortgages and market their products in seductive ways. We as a people are responsible for entertaining our appetites. We are obese, not just in weight but in mind. However, having an understanding of this alone is not enough. We must also understand and come to accept that when we stop our glutenous consuming the engine will slow down. Retailers will down size, some will even go out of business. The immediate result will be a loss of jobs and it is inevitable. Pumping money into the machine will be worse. They say it will prolong the inevitable, but my main concern is that it doesn't confront the underscoring problem and work to change the mentality of overspending that got us here. It works to encourage the gluttony. Rather, we need to promote individual and corporate financial responsibility. Yes, America, let's band-aid the problem once again.

We need to focus on the real problem, but does anyone know how to begin to tackle the real problem? The obvious answer is to suck it up, and start living within your means. If you need a credit card to buy it then don't buy it. Save! When people gamble with their money, they take a risk. It is not the governments job to replace the money you gamble away. Now I wont pretend to have all the answers, but I know that some things are certain... Most Americans live beyond their means and this excels the problem at hand. I wish that we would stop spending our energy on acquiring the latest and greatest Ipod and start spending our energy on expanding prosperity on a community level. I feel for all the people that will lose their jobs and homes through this financial awakening. It is a tragedy. We need to work as a people to make responsible and economical decisions and also work to instill compassion, charity, and neighborliness in America and in the world.

Caribbean Cinema – Uncanny, to say the least

2008-09-25T14:44:00.003-04:00

ALERT ALERT ALERT!! It is imperative that I immediately report the most bizarre experience I have had in St. Lucia to date. As you have already figured out, it involves a visit to the Cinema. I will walk you through my experience at the Cinema; take note of the differences between St. Lucian Cinema and American Theater!

Haley walked over to the Cinema to check the time; the movie would be starting at 7:30. When it was a quarter after seven the four of us (Me, Lois, Haley, and Scott) walked from the coffee house to the Cinema to buy our tickets (It was a Tuesday so we expected a sell out was not an issue). As I walked up to the glass enclosed podium that I would soon be purchasing my ticket at I noticed the large movie posters on the exterior walls. They were incased in glass; the rim dotted with a trail of white lights. Nevertheless, I walked up to the ticket booth that jutted out of the wall, cinema entry doors on either side. I said to the woman behind the enclosed counter, “One for Tropical Thunder, please.” She typed something into her computer screen, a ticket came out of the top of the counter and she tore it away from the ticket role before sliding it to me under the ticket window.

After we all got our tickets we proceeded to enter the building. I decided that I wanted popcorn but standing between us and the concession stand that lined the back wall was another ticket booth. I walked up to the man standing at the small box like podium and handed him my ticket. He ripped the ticket in half along its perforated line and said, “Theater 6 on your left.” I then approached the concession stand. There were large neon signs on the wall behind the stand displaying the price of all the items. I decided to buy a medium popcorn that would be dispensed from a large popper behind the counter. I decided not to buy candy or a fountain drink. The candy was being displayed below the counter top in a glass case that was part of the entire counter. I asked for extra salt; they had the yummy orange kind.

Next we headed toward the left, theater 6. Before going up the hall that held theaters 4 – 8 they checked to make sure we had tickets at yet another ticket stand. We opened the doors to the theatre, walked up the hall and turned to see that we were now at the bottom of a stadium of seats. We walked up the white light beaded stairs and situated ourselves somewhere in the middle of the theatre. At 7:30 the lights dimmed and there were a series of advertisements on the screen. At about 7:45 the Caribbean Cinema trailer played (it was much like the Cinemark theater trailer), after which the movie began. About 30 minutes into the movie I realized that I was freezing and should have brought a sweater.

After the movie was over we exited the theater, throwing our empty popcorn bags into the trash bins at the door of theater 6. Before leaving the Cinema I needed to use the restroom. I went in, did my business, and as I stood to button my pants the toilet flushed automatically. I went to rinse my hands and when I went to dry them it was under an automatic hand dryer. I walked out of the bathroom reflecting on what I had just experienced in complete amazement. I half expected to exit the Cinema, jump in my car and drive home. However, when I opened the exterior doors of the Caribbean Cinema I was greeted once again with warm moist air, and my vision was flooded with the deep greens of the lush environment that surrounded me. I took a moment and said, “Well, hello St. Lucia, nice to see you again.”

Footnote: the theater does not have butter dispensers where you can add butter to your popcorn; OH MY!

Understanding Culture Conflicts with Personal Values and Ethics

2008-09-19T13:32:00.004-04:00

As the paper circled the room I dreaded the moment it would reach me. How was I to respond to the question every student was being asked; “what letter do you see?” The student whose ‘D’s’ looked like 'A’s' sat in the corner of the room with an expression of absolute mortification. “What letter do you see?” asks the teacher standing at the front of the room. The student sitting directly in front of me responds, “An A.” He hands me the paper. I am sitting at the end of the second row of students. Every student prior to me gave the teacher the answer he wanted to hear, "An A sir." I looked at Danielle’s name. Her ‘D’ looks half A half D. The unavoidable moment comes, “Ms. Ray, what letter do you see?” I hesitate, thoughts racing to figure out a way to break the perpetuation of this destructive lesson. I am suddenly very aware of my delicate position… a social change agent whose primary focus currently is on developing rapport in a new school I know very little about and that knows very little about me. I feel caught in the middle of ethics and image. I blurt out an unsatisfactory compromise, “it looks like an attempt at a D.” The teacher looks stunned for an instant before laughing and saying to the student, “it’s an A, an A, and from now on in my class your name is Aanielle.” I sit down kicking myself for my pathetic response. I wish I had responded more constructively... “I have seen Ds like that before” or “great penmanship but you might want to make your Ds a little more rounded.

This scene illustrates only one of the many sticky situations that volunteers find themselves in. I met this teacher last Tuesday. Before class we hung out and he seemed like a cool guy. When his students entered the class room he appeared to have good rapport with them. I could tell the students regarded him as the ‘cool teacher’; the teacher whose classroom became a hang out spot. He could definitely relate to his students on an admirable level. However, some of his methods were questionable. In addition to the already stated scene of humiliation, I also witness this same student being spanked with a 3 inch in diameter stick. After responding “I don’t know” to a question the teacher had her bend over a chair at the front of the class, then proceeded to spank her three times, just hard enough to sting. I sat in my chair at the back of the room in horror as I watched the spanking take place, watched the girl begin to sob, and I said nothing. I knew that challenging the teacher right then and there would black ball me immediately. It would disrupt the rapport I was building with the school. I had to keep reminding myself that how the school views me will greatly affect their acceptance of the proposed changes that I bring to the table over the next two years. I now realize that I could have used the experience to educate the teacher, without challenging him. In the future I could inquire about his methods. I could discuss alternative teaching methods and their effectiveness. However, at the time I only sat there in shock.

More Patois

2008-09-16T15:45:00.001-04:00

I, Me, Mine, My	Mwen
You, Your, Yours	ou
He, She, Her, Him, It, Its	li (i)
We, Us, Out, Ours	nou
Y'all, Y'alls	zot
They, Them, Their, Theirs	yo

parot	jako
elephant	lefan
behind	deye
hat	chapo
which	kiles
gun	fizi
shirt	chimiz
books	liv
shoes	soulye
dog	chyen
cat	chat
and	ek
many	plizye
have	ni
name	non
want	vle
any	pyes
mistress	jabal
good	bon
where	kote
table	tab
on	asou/anle
step-mother	belme
step-father	bope
today	jodia
gift	kado
to be	sa
welcome	byen vini
life	lavi
well	byen
clothes	wad/had
say	ka di
also	osi
how much is this	come sa
you're welcome (its nothing)	sa pa anyen
where is the book	kote liv-la
its on the table	I asou tab-la
what did you do today?	ki sa ou fe jodia
how do you say…	koumannye ou ka di…
life is good	lavi bon
how are you	kouman ou ye
im well	mwen byen

numbers - Limewo:
yonn
de
twa
kat
senk
sis
set
nef
dis
wonz
douz
twez
katoz
kenz
sez
diset
diswit
diznef

ven
ventenyen
vennde
venntwa
venkat
vensenk
vennsis
vennset
ventwit
ventnef

twant
twantenyen
twant de
twanttwa
twantkat…

kawant
kawantenyen
kawantde…

senkant
senkantenyen
senkantde…

swasant dis
swansant wonz
swansant de…

katwiven

katwiven dis

yon san

1000 yon mil
10000 dis mil
100 000 yon san mil
1 000 000 yon milyon

months - Mwa:
Janvye
Fevwiye
Mas
Avwi
Me
Jen
Jwiye
Awou
Septanm
Oktob
Novanm
Desanm

Days of the week - Jou Lasimenn:
Dimanch
Lendi
Madi
Mekwedi
Jedi
Vandwedi
Sanmdi

How old are you (what is your age)	ki laj ou
I am 24-years-old	mwen ne vennkatzan
year	lanne
year (when speaking of age)	zan

Ordinal Numbers - Limewo Ordinal:
pwemye
dezyenm
twazyenm
katyenm
senkyenm
sizyenm
setyenm
wityenm
nevyenm
dizyenm

the negative	pa
makes the noun plural	se

Youth Wellness

2008-09-16T14:16:00.002-04:00

Last Thursday I sat in on a youth forum conducted by one of the commissioners of the Ministry of Social Transformation. It was a very informative discussion to witness. I learned a little bit about how to encourage the participation of the youth in such forums and learned even more about the issues that the St. Lucian youth face day-to-day. The panel was made up of several unemployed youth ages 17 – 28 years old. Youth in St. Lucia is defined as any young person between the ages of 10 and 35. The panelist talked about how they wish the youth had more educational and job opportunities. They talked about how they hope that gun violence among the youth can be reduced and how more recreational activities should become available.

The forum took place in an educational skills development resource center. The center offers free courses to the unemployed in special areas such as culinary arts, computer science, information technology, sewing, homemaking, welding, tour guidance, and cosmetology. St. Lucia has a rising unemployment rate and a problem with “unattached youth” – those youth that don’t go to school, don’t work, and live at home. They tend to be between the ages of 18 and 35. This program is an effort to match up the unemployed with some marketable skills, in hopes that they will stop slumming.

Part of the unemployment problem in St. Lucia is due to the previous structure of the primary and secondary educational system. Not even 10 years ago there were only two secondary schools on the island. Students would take a test at the end of their primary school or pre-secondary school education. This test would determine if they were qualified enough to move onto secondary school education. There were not enough slots as there were children, and it was very competitive to get into secondary school (what we know as high school). If you didn’t make a high enough score on your entrance exams you didn’t get to attend school anymore. Many of these kids would remain without education and without employment. Now, however, St. Lucia offers universal education and there are enough schools to ensure that every child receive a secondary education. Since this system is so new, there are still children in some of the high schools that still cannot read or write.

Another major and dominating factor in St. Lucia that contributes to unemployment in St. Lucia is the lack of educational and job opportunities. Since there are no major universities on the island, most students must travel abroad for higher education. When they come back they often find themselves over qualified for the jobs that are available here. Also, many cannot afford higher education and also find it difficult to find a job.

Finally, I have had a few discussions with some locals about the availability and perception of mental health services on the island. Many people feel there is a major problem with absent fathers, domestic violence (parent to child) and parenting styles. Seeking services is taboo and carries a negative stigmatization. St. Lucia is a small place, a place where everyone knows everyone. People do not want to be “exposed”. Nonetheless, there is one psychiatric facility on the island, one boys home and one day time girls shelter. People feel a need for family counseling services, divorce mediation services, and stronger child protective services. Perhaps some sort of psychological wellness awareness campaign or outreach would be beneficial to St. Lucians by making the discussion of psychological wellness more acceptable. In the psych hospital there are long term and short term patients. The main illnesses seen are schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. On the outside psychotherapists most often see people that are seeking help for depression and anxiety. I might try to get more involved in the mental health system here at a later date.

These are just some of the things I have been learning about!

PCV Loses Her Roll

2008-09-11T16:55:00.002-04:00

(Journal transcription Tuesday September 9^th, 2008 10pm ish)

First day of school:

The guidance counselor (my Institutional Point Person and woman I will be working with for the next 2 years) asked me to be at Castries Comprehensive by 8:00 am for the teachers briefing; held every morning by the principle. The guidance counselor had not yet arrived when I got there at 7:45 am (Caribbean time is slightly different from standard time). Awkwardly, I tried to figure out where to wait for her, the front office? Outside her office door? The staff room where the briefing takes place? She was the only person at the school I had spent any time with when I visited the school last Thursday. I wish I had asked where to wait for her. After trying out each location I decided on the front office, the only air conditioned space in the entire school.

At the staff meeting I could barely hear Principal Joseph speak. The traffic noises emanating from the highway easily slipped through the checker board walls and windows designed for open air circulation. I couldn’t help but wonder how children concentrate with so many external stimuli, and in such heat! Soon enough I realized the principal was saying a prayer for the day. This is the custom in St. Lucia; there isn’t separation of church and state… awkward! After prayer I was introduced as Ms. Ashley Ray. I think many teachers were uncertain as to whether Ashley Ray is my last name or my full name.

After briefing I met with the teacher that I was to follow and observe for the day. As we entered her class the children’s chairs screeched across the concrete floor as they stood to greet the teacher. The teacher greeted the class, “Good morning students.” The students acknowledged her in unison, “Good morning teacher.” The students would remain standing until the teacher asked them to sit. Next, the students were asked to pull out their books. Most of the students have to share books. As the students read the reading comprehension story out loud I couldn’t help but notice that this form 1 (7^th grade) class was reading what I would consider 3^rd grade material. The teacher informs me that all form 1 classes across all of St. Lucia have the same books and syllabus. St. Lucia has universal education.

I accompanied the teacher to the staff room during her break period. This gave me a chance to socialize with some of the other teachers. One of the teachers was telling me about how he does something adventures every other Sunday; snorkeling, climbing, hiking to waterfalls, etc, and I was invited to join him and to bring other PCVs if I am interested. This will be lots of fun.

Then, the moment I was feeling more comfortable and at ease I was brought right back into a world of awkwardness. I asked my shadow teacher, “Where is the restroom.” She says, “Oh” with an unreadable look on her face. She reaches up and grabs a key off the wall, which she then hands me along with a jumbo roll of toilet paper and says, “follow me” We push our way through the student filled hall and down the stairs. As we begin a long stride across the school lawn I try my best to discretely carry my role of toilet paper. We get to the one and only staff restroom tactfully placed on the whole other side of campus, after what seemed like an eternal walk of shame. The teacher instructs me to use the key for both entry into the restroom and locking the door on the other side. After struggling with the rusty lock and key for a moment I finally gained access, relieved that I didn’t lose hold of my jumbo roll in the struggle. I could just picture the headline; White Lady Struggles with Bathroom Door, Jumbo Roll Slips From Grasp During Brothel and Rolls Away Across Central Court Yard. Nevertheless, I walk into the open room that contains 3 urinals and 2 stalls. “Do men and women use the same restroom?” I think. As I hurry to finish my business I pray over and over that no man enters to pee. I walk back to the staff room playing over and over in my head how to avoid walking in on a man using the urinal and being completely mortified. This concern keeps my mind off the fact that I am carrying a jumbo roll across campus. Thinking back though, people didn’t really take notice because the bathroom ritual is commonplace.

I got back to the staff room and was almost too embarrassed to ask about the unisex bathroom issue but I do anyway. The teacher laughs and remarks, “I forgot to tell you! Leave the key in the lock on the other side of the door. This way teachers know the bathroom is occupied when they cannot push their key in all the way.” Boy was a relieved, but I can’t help but wonder if she was putting me through initiation.

Spirit to Play, Pockets to Pay

2008-09-11T15:39:00.002-04:00

(Journal transcription from Sunday September 7^th 7:30pm ish)

Yesterday I went to Rodney Bay with several of the other Peace Corps Volunteers. We played on the beach outside one of the resorts. We laughed, once again, about how we were not paying a dime to bask in the suns rays and body surf on the waves but all the families and couples around us were paying to be in this tropical land! Then we decided to order a beer at the beach bar. While we were sippin’ on our bevs Bob Marley came by and made me a bowl out of palm leaves. I kept telling him “I don’t have any money to give the children,” but he made it anyway. Did you know Bob Marley can both sing and make bowls out of palm leaves? Oh yes, he also mastered a skill only Jesus knows, returning from the dead.

Anyhow, when the bill was brought our laughter got quieter; 6EC for a Piton and 10EC for a club soda!! That was twice as much as anywhere else on the island! Geez, I hope I have enough of my walk around allowance to make it through next week! Although, if I have to chew away some of my thigh in order to survive through the week I would not complain; I have gained 5 lbs since arriving in St. Lucia. Don’t worry mom and dad… they are feeding me well! St. Lucians like their oils, fats, and fried foods. I figured walking would make up for all the banana fritters and fried goodies – Eh Eh. My usual workout routine has come to a halt. I did find a gym and heard about a natatorium, but I won’t be able to afford membership until I start getting my monthly stipend. This will start coming after I get sworn in on October 23^rd ish.

A few things I will eventually need:
Britta Filter (water has parasite/weight loss diet bug)
Hammock
5 gallon bucket with lid (for water outages)
Extra camera battery
Underwater case for camera
Snorkeling gear
Rope
Dog collar (for my new puppy, Cato)

Peace Corps - Volunteer or CIA?

2008-09-09T18:49:00.005-04:00

(Journal transcription from Friday September 5^th 10:54pm)

Tonight, Halley, Scott, Lois and I went Limon (pronounced lime en) in Rodney Bay. We found ourselves roaming around the beaches on Rodney Bay by some of the resorts. We were tickled at the fact that some people were paying to walk the sandy beach and watch the waves lap at the surface while we were watching the tropical sunset from the coast for free!

We decided to take a taxi home since it was dark outside when we left the Bay. We got to talking with the driva and he truly believed that Peace Corps Volunteers are really part of the CIA! He states that many St. Lucians think such things. When we attempted to correct him and tell him what the Peace Corps is really about, the assisting cultures in need and cultural exchange, he stated “OH, you are very intelligent indeed!” Further, he was totally bemused by the fact that we are Obama fans. He wondered how it can be that a white person is so willing to vote for a black man. He said things like, “But he is not your color, how can you vote for him?” We tried to explain to him that the color of his skin is unimportant to us and that it is his political platform that matters to us. This was completely outside his world of understanding. He asked us, “Does racism not exist in America anymore?” We tried to paint a balanced picture of both the progress in America and the progress that still needs to be made in America… all of this in a 5 minute taxi ride! He voiced that he believes the black man is stupid in the eyes of the white man, and we tried to correct his misperceptions. Hopefully we gave him some knowledge on the diversity of American culture. I think he still thinks we are CIA!

Training, Theft in the City, and Digicel

2008-09-09T18:18:00.001-04:00

I had my first day of training at the PC office today. It was nice. They really know how to throw you into the work. I have to complete a community map of my neighborhood by next Monday. This is a physical map that shows the geography of all of the businesses and organizations in my community that will also indicate the most important resources, most available resources, areas community members spend the most time and the least time and the expressed needs of the men and women in the community. Time to get talkin to people!

Today in Castries I was on the bus with one of the other volunteers. We were in stop-n-go traffic in the city when a man suddenly ran up and yanked the chain off of the woman sitting in the passenger side seat. He just reached through the window and yanked it off her neck! She started shoutin “He got my chain, He got my chain!” The bus driver jumped out to run after him but could not catch him! I was so surprised that none of the 100s of bystanders stopped him. It was unfortunate for the woman, but I felt fortunate to witness the theft. It serves as a reminder to guard my valuables and be careful in the city.

Tomorrow I open my bank account – money money money, MONEY! Soon enough, in 7 weeks, we will finally be getting some funds to live on. Something a little less modest than the $133EC ($45) every other week that we are getting now! It is supposed to pay our bus fairs and leave a small amount as a walk around allowance. I am also getting a St. Lucian phone. I am happy I waited on the SIM card because Digicel, one of the two phone companies here, gives a deal to PCVs. It is $10 a month and we can call any PCV or PC staff on the network unlimitedly. Anything else, usual rates apply. However, we can still receive any incoming calls free of charge! WOO WOO!

What I have learned in Patois

2008-09-09T15:58:00.002-04:00

English	Patois
Calabash (the national tree)	Calabath
Soursup (a yummy fruit in my yard)	Casal
Golden apple (a ummy fruit in my yard)	Punusita
Banana	Figme
Guava	Guave
Lime	Cito
Orange	Jueiage
Mango	Mago
Coconut	Cocoa
Bread fruit	Bapa
Dog	Chiem
Avocado	Zabca
Sugar apple	Pumcanel

English	Patois
Good morning	Bonjou
Goodnight	Bonzou
How are you?	Sac a feat?
What is your name?	Koumonnon’w?
My name is....	Non mwen se…
Brother	Fwe
Sister	Sese
Mother	Manman
Father	Papa
My brothers name is…	Non fwe mwen se…
I have one dog, his name is Cato	Mwen ni yon chime, li non se Cato
Leave me alone, please	Ki te mwen, bat-mize mwen, souple
Go fix yourself up!	Wanja kou!

Country Music Meets Ghetto Super Star

2008-09-09T15:44:00.004-04:00

(Journal transcription from Sunday August 31^st 9:30pm ish)

I just got back from the Western Palace. It was not what I expected even in the least! I am glad I decided to step outside my fears and go. I knew not to expect a bunch of tight jeans and cowboy hats because I had already asked if people would be dressed in this way. However, I was definitely expecting a bunch of middle to old-aged folk doing the two-step and line dances on a small dance floor. I experienced something entirely different from this, and expectations I didn’t even know I had were broken! What I encountered was a pitch black, VERY LARGE, ‘night club’ looking place with 100s of people of all ages. The women were wearing the same kind of night club garb you would see in the states and the guys were wearing gold chains, caps and loose fitting jeans. AND they were all dancing the two-step! WOAH, culture clash! Naturally, I quickly noticed that I was the only white face in the crowd but not due to any sort of negative attention. As I walked into the place I found myself feeling extremely uncomfortable, knowing that if I were to walk into a predominantly black club in America I would most likely elicit at least a few rude glances and snide remarks. However, I experienced something completely to the contrary. People were generally pleasant, if they even took notice of me at all! It is hard to say whether this was because my PC mom’s tight grasp on me discouraged negative attention or if it was because racial prejudice is weaker than it is in the states. Any how, there seems to be a positive sentiment towards Americans, and PCVs are respected in St. Lucia. Warning about the St. Lucian men whom try to take advantage of foreign women has found its way to my ears many times already; although, they were very respectable on the dance floor. I enjoyed myself thoroughly and was sad when the time came to leave. Not what I expected at all!

Goodnight,

Ashley

Church and Food... It must be Sunday

2008-09-09T15:19:00.003-04:00

(Journal transcription from Sunday August 31rst 4:00 pm ish)

Today has been better than yesterday. I am feeling more relaxed as I become more familiar with my host mom and home. It also turns out that there is an up side to no children in the house after all, as I got to sleep in until 6:45!! Yes, 6:45am is considered sleeping in when I have been up by 5 since I got to Miami. When I woke up I went to church with Mrs. B. She goes to a quaint little catholic church up the road. She seemed delighted that I chose to go with her. It was a memorable experience that was both pleasant and embarrassing. It also offered some familiarity. During church the Deccan asked the new comers to stand and introduce themselves. This is where me and me alone stood, and my host mom introduced me to the whole congregation; as if my single vanilla face wasn’t sticking out enough in the sea of chocolate! As I stood their awkwardly the choir started to sing a hymn and when I went to sit down I was motioned to remain standing. I hadn’t the slightest idea why I was to remain standing their, and my embarrassment grew. I felt a tap on my shoulder from a man who had apparently been standing in the aisle for some time waiting to shake my hand and tell me ‘Welcome.’ Several people proceeded to come to greet me for the remainder of the song. Even though I was blushing the entire time I was standing, I sat down grateful for the experience. I felt welcome and pleased to meet several people in the community. Also, for a brief moment I was thankful for having been raised in the Catholic Church. I knew the chants and proceedings and actually felt that I was fitting in during service. It was a great way to get connected. Though, I am certain I saw the Deccan hesitate when I went to receive communion! When I informed Mrs. B that I could take communion but had not ever been confirmed she was quick to inform me it was never too late and could do it while I am in St. Lucia. Eh… while I know my time here will influence me in many unthinkable ways, I am certain I wont be promising myself to the catholic church while in St. Lucia. Nevertheless, I did enjoy the calypso infused hymns and rich tradition that exists here.

Things for further discussion:

I took the bus for the first time today. The buses are actually large vans that hold about 14 – 16 passengers.

I learned to wash my undergarments by hand

I learned to make Caribbean style okra, macaroni, sauce, beans and rice. (Sunday lunch is the biggest meal of the week in St. Lucia)

I ate my first fresh guava (guave in Kweol). DELICIOUS!

Tonight Mrs. B has invited me to go to a country western dance and I don’t know if I shall go. She said we will be there for 3 hours! I am really nervous and I want to go but I fear feeling very out of place. It is 10 EC to get in. I will decide soon. Regardless, today has been a wonderful day!

A Stranger in a Strange Land

2008-09-09T12:13:00.004-04:00

(Journal transcription from August 30^th 5pm ish)

I am sitting on the top balcony of my host mom and dads house; I call them Mrs. and Mr. B. I asked for no kids on my home stay form, and this is what I go. However, now I am wishing there were some little rascals running around here. I suppose I will miss my niece Ava waking me up every morning after all! I asked if my host mom knows of anyone my age in the neighborhood that I could make friends with and she doesn’t seem to know anyone. I suppose I will need to keep the lookout and be proactive in meeting the neighbors. I will go to church with her in the morning; she is Catholic, as are most St. Lucians.

My host parents live in a fairly large house; something I wasn’t expecting. It is two stories with a large wrap around patio that I know my mom would love, and the lawn is fabulous! We have 2 dogs, Blacky (he is the old and wiser dog. He is nice to the other animals and even leaves the chickens alone) and ‘the brown one’, 2 cats called ‘puss puss’, several mango trees, guava trees, banana trees, limes, a bread fruit tree, and two more new fruits that I cannot pronounce the names of yet! (Calabash and ….?)

For my first lunch, Mrs. B made a very delicious pumpkin soup. We also have pumpkins growing in the garden. I am still very excited about trying all the new Caribbean dishes. However, even more exciting is my bedroom! I have my own bedroom and bathroom and couldn’t be more relieved that I don’t have to share! We have hot water, cable TV, a microwave, toaster oven, and a washing machine but everything hangs on the line to dry and I am to wash my undergarments by hand. Other things I do not have: dishwasher, internet, A/C, screens on windows, tub. That is all I notice for now

I already feel a little isolated and alone. This disappoints me because I thought I would make it at least a day in my new home!! It is awkward arriving to live in a strangers home in a completely unfamiliar place. I suppose it is the level of discomfort that brought me to tears. I believe it is my first time I have ever been brought to tears out of feeling uncomfortable and awkward. It happened after I finished unpacking my things. I was feeling like I didn’t know what to do with myself. I am thankful that I started this habit of journaling many many years ago; it feels good to write and be out on the balcony.

Man, I can already tell that rooster will be annoying – crowing already (Hannah, this one is confused about the time as well. Maybe is related to out AAH House rooster) There is an annoying dog next door too. Well, I suppose that rooster and dog will take over Ava’s job! I am surprised Mrs. B doesn’t have a car; she has such a lovely house. Anyway, I suppose I must get used to Buses and Walking for the next 2 years! There goes that rooster again.

Straight in front of me is a large mountain side. It is very near… Maybe ½ mile away. I hope that when I move into my own house in 7 weeks that it will be higher up or near the water. I am about ½ mile walk from the beach.

It is an interesting experience knowing that you are the minority in every way, too. There is no way I can ever go unnoticed when I am living in a country that is 95% black. I plan to write more about this later as I experience this aspect more in my daily living.

My host mom has been working with the PC for 16 years. I am her 6^th PC daughter. I wonder what their service experience was like. Did they miss the internet as much as I can tell I am going too?! Ha.

AND, I miss Jason. I miss him so much that I cannot write further about it because I feel the tears welling up already!

Bonjour!!

2008-08-29T18:41:00.002-04:00

Bonjour from St. Lucia!! While that might sound French, in St. Lucia they speak Patois. Patois is a French based Creole language and the language that I get to learn while in the Caribbean! WELLL, I am sooo happy to finally blog to you. I have been spending the past days in all day training sessions covering things like safety, travel, home stay arrangements, job assignments and the like. Tomorrow I get to meet my host family that I will be staying with for the next 7 weeks, after which I will move into my own housing.

The people here have all been really nice thus far and I am excited to get into my 7 week Pre Service Training. Half of the week I will be in training and the other half in an internship, shadowing another PCV and meeting people in the community. I will be living half way between Castries (the capital city of St. Lucia, pop. 60,000) and Gros Islet right next to a locals beach. What that means is NO TOURIST on my beach, woo woo!!! I will be working in two secondary schools in Castries working to help develop groups for at-risk boys and girls, helping with parenting programs…. And helping with some other things that I don’t remember… more on that later!

OK, SO, St. Lucia is absolutely GORGEOUS!! It is soooo lush, green, and mountainous. I have taken tones of pictures… looks like I might need to you to send me a back-up computer battery dad!! I will post them soon but I don’t have my card reader near by right now. Well… blog is short because we are doing a celebratory BBQ tonight then going to get a drink down the street. 2/3 of the group goes to their prospective islands in the morning.

I love you and more to come soon!

Preperation and Packing List

2008-08-17T22:07:00.002-04:00

Well, the final week countdown begins! I have less than one week and 11 hours until I leave for what will possibly become a couple of the most memorable and profound years of my life. On the 25th I will fly out to Miami where I will participate in what is called my 'staging event'; it is pre-service orientation. Then on the 27th I fly out to St. Lucia and begin my 7 weeks of pre-service training! I found out today that every 1 in 10 PCV (Peace Corps Volunteers) make it through pre-service training. 10% decide to go home before ever getting sworn in. Maybe this number wouldn't be so high if they let us know a little bit more about what to expect! I still have no idea what those 7 weeks will look like... shoot, they still haven't told me where on the island i will be stationed. Nonetheless, it is nice to see the Peace Corps come through in transportation. All I had to do is call SATO Travel, let them know I am ready to set up my departure flights and they took care of everything. It was more like a confirmation call. I then got an email informing me of my flight information for Miami and St. Lucia.

I am getting pretty excited and frantically trying to figure out how to make my packing list weight under the 80lb and fit into 107 inches (l+w+h) of luggage! BUT, no need to fret, as I am The Puzzle Queen!! Just so you get an idea of what I am working with, here is my packing list:

My Packing List

3 sun dress
2 fancier dresses
Jean skirt
2 other skirts
7 nice shirt
5 casual t-shirts
4 tank tops
1 light sweater
3 warmer shirts
1 rain jacket
2 long shorts
1 board shorts
2 jeans
2 capris
3 dress pants
14 pair underwear
5 regular bras
3 sports bras
14 pair socks (dress, casual, work-out)
3 pair work-out shorts
3 work-out shirts
4 pair cool pjs
2 pair warm pjs
3 head bands
3 belts (black, brown, fun)
Tevas
Hiking sandals
Simple Shoes
Adidas
Black heels
Black dress shoes
Brown heeled sandals
2 pair flats
boots
2 swim suits
Hat
2 pairs earrings, 2 necklaces, 3 rings, anklet

Miscellaneous

1 set sheets
Pillow
Fuzzy blanket
3 towels
1 swim towel
2 hand towels
Wattage converter/plug adapter
Flashlight
Battery operated radio
Batteries
Surege protector
Camera
Laptop
Portable hard drive
Water bottle
Pocket knife
Scissors
Photos of family and friends
Tapestry that Jason gave me
Back pack
‘forever’ US postage stamps
Books
4 small 4 large plastic storage bags
2 journals
Goggles
Frisbee
Cards
3 pens
1 pencil w/ led
Lock box
Incense and holder
Spiritual expression and grounding items (stones, dream box, totem statue, books, Buddha box, etc.)
Heating pad
Head phones with mic.

Bathroom Items

2 pairs glasses and case
Extra contacts
Contact solution
Cotton balls
Face wash
Hand soap
Witch hazel
Toothbrush
Toothpaste
Dental Floss
Shampoo & Conditioner
Brush
3 hair clips
hair ties
Loofah
Body wash
Extra razors
Moisturizer
Sun block
Lip balm
Make-up
Medication
Coca-butter/Aloe
Q-tips
Nail file and clippers
Bathroom bag

Well... that's what I have so far. I have spent some time trying to perfect this list. Let me know if you think I might be forgetting something or need to do without something!! I'll update on how packing went at a later date!!

Moving Away From Austin

2008-07-28T10:00:00.002-04:00

Written July 23, 2008

I write because I have been having bouts of confusion, trying to figure out how to deal with this life transition. As I pack up my life in Austin, in preparation for my move to the Caribbean I find myself having a whole new emotional experience… one that I have never experienced before. I think it is ambivalence at its meanest. My desire and enthusiasm about going into the Peace Corps for 27 months is at such odds with my love of Austin, family and friends, and I am having a hard time pinpointing just how to feel about it all. Every day I go through a whirl wind of emotion; I experience everything from exhilaration as I pack and get ready to embark on an unforgettable adventure, to crying my eyes out as I sit back in my empty room recalling the faces and memories of the beautiful people in my life.

Austin is my second home. It is a part of who I have become. When I first set out on this journey I wasn’t certain if it was the right choice. After much prayer and meditation, it became clear that joining the Peace Corps would be entirely inline with my life goals and commitments, and becoming a PCV was what my Spirit was guiding me to do. With that the time came for me to hit ‘submit’ on my online application, and I did so with no reservations and no hesitations.

Given that, when the anticipation and battling emotions are overwhelming my heart, I suppose I must be thankful that I don’t have to make any decisions about those feelings. Often times I am plagued with indecision, feeling conflicted over some big life decision, e.g., deciding where to go to graduate school (that one was a doozy). However, this is not one of those times, and I can move forward, courageously, knowing that when I decided nearly a year ago to submit my application I did so with complete confidence.

As I write, I realize that I must not confuse an inundation of emotions with ambivalent conflict. It is certain that I will leave; it is what I chose for my life. I can gain great peace in knowing my mind is already made up. My love of my friends, family, Austin and sadness to leave them for this period of time can be honored suitably, and my excitement about departing to a foreign land doesn’t need to muddle my heart.

Aspiration Statement

2008-06-23T19:31:00.006-04:00

Alright, I finally sent off my 'Aspiration Statement' to my in-country organizers!! Here it is...

A: Several key pathmarks in my educational and professional experience highlight the skills and passion I bring to social work Throughout my work in psychology and social work during my bachelors and Masters degrees I have sharpened my skills as an agent of social change and therapeutic service provider. First, while earning my B.A. in Psychology I spent my time learning the subtleties of human behavior and psychological dysfunction. I worked in research labs learning about how the home environment impacts childhood peer relationship formation, honing my skills of observation, empirical assessment, and understanding of diversity in family culture. I worked in a research lab studying domestic violence and abuse, perfecting my interviewing skills and empathic communication. In addition, I was the care provider of a 9-year-old boy diagnosed with Bi-polar Disorder. I was a mentor to him and his family, providing psychoeducation on his illness and therapeutic techniques that can aid in behavior modification, improving family interactions, and increasing the child’s level of functioning and awareness. This experience taught me patience, and developed my abilities in working with families.

Second, during my first year of my Masters of Science in Social Work (MSSW) I worked in a residential facility offering therapeutic services to adolescent girls who have experienced abuse, sexual, physical, psychological, or neglect. The treatment center was a team environment where I was afforded the opportunity to develop myself as a treatment team professional, understand appropriate utilization of supervision, and learn how to implement various individual and group counseling techniques. In my final semester of my professional training I worked as a Medical Social Worker at St. David’s Hospital. I performed psychosocial assessments, interventions, and engaged in discharge planning with patients in critical care. I sharpened my crisis-intervention skills and became effective at identifying, networking with and utilizing beneficial community resources.

It is from these experiences that I have refined my professional capacities, and I will bring these attributes to my Peace Corps work in St. Lucia. I expect that my patience, understanding of cultural diversity, empathic communication, compassion, team player attitude, therapeutic listening and intervention skills, ability to perform sensitive needs assessments, networking skills, and success in identifying community resources will play key roles in my professional work with at-risk youth and their families in St. Lucia. I have also worked to further my professional development in working with a company, Landmark Education, which helps facilitate better effectiveness in daily living. Through this company I coached participants ages 18 and up in personal motivation, achievement and effective living. I have faith that the empowerment skills I gained while working with this company will help me to empower myself in my work and empower the individuals and communities I will be working with in St. Lucia

B: In order to work effectively with St. Lucia partners to meet expressed needs I must first gain an understanding of how I may best be of service to the cause. I understand that I will need to gain respect within my community before I can be effective in my community. This will require me to focus on learning community customs and their way of life. Once I show that I can respect the community’s way of life and show that I am willing and able to integrate myself into their culture I can then be a professional resource for the community. Then, I can share my knowledge and skills and ask my partners how I can best serve the community. I look forward to working together to identify the resources and strengths that we can utilize to make positive change.

C: My strategy for adapting to a new culture is to spend a great deal of time observing, listening, and learning the norms and customs. When in a new environment it is helpful to observe your surroundings and learn as much as possible about the environment; then integration into the environment happens with more ease. Also, I like to take a hands-on approach. I will participate in learning the dialect, ask questions that can help me understand the culture, and be open to different cultural practices and customs. I will attempt to adopt a way-of-life that is influenced by both this new culture and my own cultural roots. I anticipate that I will participate in community events and share some of my culture with others, as well.

D: In pre-service training I hope to gain some skills and knowledge that can help me to best serve my future community and projects. I hope to learn more about the needs of my community, the language and dialect, safety guidelines, and integration tips based on past PCV experiences. In my training I hope that I can come to gain better preliminary understandings of and respect for St. Lucian way-of-life. I expect that I will learn about key issues that my community of destination faces and learn previously implemented strategies that have proven effective in attempting to ameliorate various social problems.

E: Serving in the Peace Corps fulfills both personal and professional aspirations. Learning about individuals and communities is a central focus in my life. Poverty, illness, and oppression force people to be perpetually concerned with their own survival, and limit the luxurious opportunity to focus on ones own happiness. However, this should not be a luxury in a world that has ample resources to feed the poor and heal the sick. My compassion and technical expertise inform my dedication to use myself and my skills to be an agent of social change. This means bringing happiness and resolve to other people’s lives and serving as an example of how compassion can powerfully instill hope and strength in others. Serving in the Peace Corps gives me the opportunity to serve my global community in a more direct way.

Furthermore, having cultural competency is indispensable in the field of social work. I wish to increase my knowledge and competence as a professional working in a field that serves diverse client populations. I expect that engaging various communities and new challenges will promote collaborative opportunities for growth and learning that will enable me to become a more effective and knowledgeable Social Worker. Finally, serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer will enhance my strength and independence. I desire to become more confident in my ability to go where my spirit guides me. To follow my heart and not be constrained by worries, fears, and life barriers is fulfilling to me. Conquering oneself is essential for those designed to serve others.

Invitation Acceptance

2008-06-18T22:56:00.003-04:00

I called to accept my invitation. I will be leaving Austin on the evening of July 17th, only returning a couple of days to clean and get the last of my things. I have a bitter sweet taste in my mouth. I know that I am about to have an unforgettable, unimaginable, unexplainable experience; However, the thought of leaving Austin makes my heart heavy. I love this city, the friends I have made here, and well... of course there is this beautiful house I live in right now. Lets just hope I have electricity and running water at my St. Lucian destination. Ha, j/k; they say I will definitely have electricity and running water. I might even have cable and a phone! Now isn't that exciting.

More to come later... I'll post my packing guidelines later... I know I shouldn't be getting so stressed about packing, but geez... it is for 2 years. Some how I have to figure out what I can bring to wear that won't make me look like a tourist. Hmmm... I think they forgot that I haven't ever visited St. Lucia... what do the locals look like?!?! I have been on a mission to figure this one out.
Peace for now!

St. Lucia

2008-06-17T13:07:00.003-04:00

Well, I got my invitation to St. Lucia, a little island in the Eastern Caribbean. To give you an idea of how large... or small the island is... it's smaller than the city of Austin and has a population of 160,000. (just for reference; the population of Austin is nearly 1 million) I will be working with the youth. I'm not sure what that will look like yet, but I will know more soon enough. My departure date is August 25th; whew, thats soon. I will be sworn in as a PCV on October 10th, and my service will last until 10/10/10 <---- is that lucky or what? I am getting more and more excited about going as time goes by, but there is a lot of preparing to do, and logistics to work out. For one, I have to write a 'Letter of Aspiration' to my host country letting them know who I am, what skills I have, and why I believe I can be a good resource for St. Lucia. The pressure is on, because I only have a vague idea at this time what I will be doing in St. Lucia. I am shifting between feelings of excitement and anxiousness.

I have been trying to start packing up my things in Austin. I am sad to leave such a wonderful city with so many beautiful people. However, I am looking forward to having a month to spend with my family and friends in Dallas before heading off to a tropical wonderland. As I pack for Dallas, I am trying to keep my Peace Corps packing guidelines in mind. I don't want to be searching through tons of boxes once in Dallas, trying to find the things I need to pack for the Peace Corps. Anyway, above is a map of where I will be going and below a picture I found of a beach in St. Lucia!

The Process

2008-06-17T13:05:00.002-04:00

Here is a nice introductory blog I posted somewhere else a couple of weeks ago:

The Process

June 4th, 2008 by Gizmo.

This is my first blog. I want to give you an idea of what it is like to be in the Peace Corps from start to finish. First, it starts with the application…

Well folks, they said the application process was extensive. I didn’t know it would be excruciatingly slow. However, I cannot lay all the blame on the Peace Corps. The first hold up was caused by me. My curiosity first began to grow about a year ago; yes, a year. I browsed the site, read some blogs, did my research and finally began the application process in July of 2007. The bulk of the application, the part asking about everything from what’s your name to what kind of gynecological problems have you had in the past 5 years, was complete within a week.

After spending hours typing logistical information into little rectangular boxes and putting check after check into tinny little squares, the essays lie before me. For nearly 6 months I was daunted by the task of writing two fate deciding essays, one meant to convey my cultural-competence, and the other being a typical ‘why do you want to join the Peace Corps’ essay. For the former I reviewed essays online, most flaunting their extravagant life changing experiences. One guy did a year long internship in Morocco where he became enlightened on such social justice issues as religious expression and freedom, economic oppression, philosophies on health, and cultural differences in regards to racism, classism, heterosexism, ageism, and sexism. I read about how the essays need to draw on one experience I had that demonstrates my ability to adapt in another culture. I didn’t have a Moroccan experience. All I could see is the serious of small but significant events throughout my life that molded my values into that of a Social Worker.

As for the latter essay… my thoughts… “What the fuck are they looking for here?” I know I can’t give a cliché answer like, ‘I want to help others.’ My response has to communicate my passion in a unique way. It wasn’t until November that I completed my essays. It took me another two months to hit the submit button. I had mole over all the worries and concerns I had about joining. In the end, I had to decide that my reasons for wanting to join were greater than any of my concerns.

Time goes by

A month+ later, I was scheduled for a 3 hour long interview. The interviewer was typing my response. If interviews make you nervous, imagine what it might be like to have someone staring you in the eyes and typing fiercely as you answer questions. You pause, she pauses; you start, click click click. At the end of the interview she asks me what my top three regions are. I tell her that Africa and Central America tie for first. She tells me that Latin America isn’t an option for me since I don’t know Spanish. She tells me that it looks like I will be going to Africa. She tells me I will get a call soon.

Time goes by

Weeks later I get a call from the Peace Corps. They are calling to inform me that I have been nominated for At-Risk Youth Development Programs in Southern Central America, scheduled to depart in August. She states that I can wait until January if I want Africa. I tell her that I will take Central America. I am very excited about this because of the opportunity to become fluent in Spanish.

Time goes by

I get my medical packet in the mail along with a call from the Peace Corps. The representative tells me that it is imperative that I get everything back to her in a timely fashion. She states that I am in a time crunch to leave for August. She tells me, they got my medical clearance deadline moved back to June 2^nd. I got on the phone right then with doctors. I received the packet end of March and it wouldn’t be until May that I could get it all complete. I needed updated immunizations, complete head to toe extended physical, dental exams, etc, etc. Since the Peace Corps only pays for a fraction of these exams, a total of $75 to be exact, I scheduled my appointments through the VA. The VA provides complimentary service to Peace Corps volunteers. However, the VA is a hugely overworked, understaffed bureaucracy and this slowed down the process. So, after my 8 tubes of blood were drawn and analyzed and my body was examined, down to every last scar and tattoo, my forms were signed and mailed off. I prayed that I didn’t forget anything on the 10 sections of medical paperwork.

Time goes by

Dental clearance comes in

Time goes by

5 days before my June 2^nd deadline, I call the Peace Corps wondering why my clearance is delayed. Medical tells me that the nurse knows of the time crunch, hasn’t reviewed my forms yet and will get back with me tomorrow. I get a call the next day from the nurse who reviewed my forms only after receiving my call. The nurse needs another blood test. SHIT! How did the VA take 8 tubes of blood and not test for everything needed? Now I know I am going to miss my deadline.

I take my labs to my doctor who informs me the blood test was administered and shows me where the results are on the lab report. I clear this up with the Peace Corps and ask them about my deadline. They push it back to mid-July and say that now I might be going to the Caribbean. I think this is fantastic, but I am not getting my hopes up. I have learned that things can change at any moment.

I still have a hold on my medical clearance, which should be cleared up in the next couple of days. Now, I also wait for my placement decision. It has been a true test of patience and flexibility.